Guess who lost the Robins’ Rock, Paper, Scissors battle to not accompany Damian gift shopping?
Damian [to employee]: If I were to give you this gift basket, based on that action alone, and no other data, infer and describe the hypothetical relationship that exists between us.
Employee: Excuse me?
Damian: Here. *hands gift basket to employee* Now, are we friends, colleagues, lovers? Are you my grandmother?
Employee: I don’t understand what you’re talking about, and you’re making me a little uncomfortable.
Jason: *grabs Damian by the scruff of his neck*
Jason: See, sounds just like you and Raven. We’ll take it.
Jason: *takes the gift basket and drags Damian away*
Tag: jason todd
How to stay moisturized during freezing patrol nights in Gotham City…
Nightwing: *carefully pouring liquid from a tiny bottle onto his finger, then gently dabbing some of it on his lips* I’m telling you, Jay. Olive oil.
Red Hood: *grimaces* Dick, just because it’s good on salad it doesn’t mean it’s good on your lips.
Red Hood: If you bring sarcasm my way, baby, prepare to be stung.
Nightwing: Jay…
Red Hood: So’s your face!
Red Robin: That doesn’t even make any sense.
Red Hood: “So’s your face” always makes sense.
Robin: -Tt- Todd, that’s stupid.
Red Hood: So’s your face! Man, I am on fire!
When your youngest brother’s mother drops by for a visit…
Talia: *grinning while running her fingers along her sword’s blade*
Red Robin: *whispering* Okay, this woman is horrifying, so don’t panic.
Red Hood: *scoffs* I’ll be fine.
Red Robin: I was talking to myself.
Red Hood and Arsenal: *walking*
Arsenal: *pauses*
Arsenal: Does that sound like somebody saying “No”, “Wait”, “Stop” to you?
Red Hood: *listens*
Red Hood: Yeah.
Arsenal: *continues walking* Oh, well.
Robin: Todd, I’m going to jump off this skyscraper.
Red Hood: You know, kid, as the only adult here, I feel like I should say something.
Robin: What?
Red Hood: Cool!
When your brother tries to convince you to perform a death-defying, two-man maneuver with him…
Red Hood: Dick, that’s acrobat stuff. I don’t have the expertise.
Nightwing: Jay, any idiot can be an acrobat.
Red Hood: I know, I just think –
Nightwing: I knew you thought that! I knew it.
Red Hood: You tricked me!
Red Hood: *enters the Wayne Manor* I hate this place.
Damian: *shuts the door behind him* It hates you, Todd.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Jason, we all know that is one big, fat lie. And, Damian, no.
Jason: *walks into Tim’s bedroom*
Jason: So this is where germs are born…
When you just can’t say no to a brother in need…
Nightwing: I’ll do it.
Red Hood: I knew you would. You’re very predictable.
Nightwing & Red Hood: No, I’m not.
Nightwing & Red Hood: Stop doing that!
Nightwing & Red Hood: Peanut butter egg cereal.