Red Hood: You just lost yourself a best friend, Roy!
Arsenal: *cupping his ear* Wha–? I’m sorry, Jaybird, I couldn’t hear you.
Red Hood: I said that you just lost yourself a best friend!
Arsenal: *slowly walking away* Huh?
Red Hood: You just lost yourself a best friend!
Arsenal: Dude, you’re going to have to speak up!
Red Hood: You just lost yourself a best friend, Harper!
Arsenal: I’ve forced myself to wha– ?
Red Hood: *positively yelling* You just lost yourself a best friend!
Arsenal: Jason, I’ll talk to you tomorrow!
Red Hood: You just lost yourself a best friend!
Arsenal: Yeah, you can use it!
Tag: jason todd
Dick and Jason: *watching as Tim downs his fourth cup of coffee, spilling some on his ketchup and mustard-stained shirt, burps loudly, and wipes dried slobber off his face*
Dick: *sighs*
Jason: I love him, but if he’s broken, let’s ask Bruce not to get a new one.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: *covering a bruised eye*
Dick: *hugging him consolingly*
Jason: *heading to the refrigerator to grab an ice pack while trying to suppress his laughter*
Bruce and Alfred: *glaring disappointedly*
Damian: *guarding a platter of tofu* It’s not my fault I’m bad at sharing! I skipped kindergarten!
Family Patrol Night…
Batman: I will go in and do this quietly.
Red Hood: Well, if that doesn’t work, we will come in to make some noise. *cocks guns*
Nightwing: *lights up escrima sticks*
Red Robin: *twirls bo staff*
Robin: *brandishes sword*
Bonus:
Superman: *hovers and winks*
Snapchats at the Manor…
Camera: *focuses on what looks like a leather seat, then on buttons with bat symbols on them, then on something glinting red*
Red Hood: *places his phone on the dashboard, takes off his helmet, winks at the camera, then bites into a Big Belly Burger* It’s Wednesday. Sometimes I eat in Batman’s car. Don’t tell him.
When your older brother’s more protective than usual during patrol…
Red Robin: *shaking his head and smirking*
Red Hood: Mother Hen? Dude, I think we’re about the same age.
Red Robin: Sure, unless time is linear.
Red Hood: I’ll make your face linear!
Red Robin: *rolls his eyes* That doesn’t make any sense.
Red Hood: I’ll make your face make sense!
Interventions at the Manor…
Alfred: *wearing a mask and carrying a vacuum cleaner*
Dick: *putting on gloves*
Jason: *filling a black garbage bag with piles of… What are these, Timbo?*
Damian: *pinching his nose and looking around in pure disgust*
Tim: I want to get rid of my stuff, but all my stuff is really good and I just can’t get rid of it.
Dick: It’s not and you have to.
Jason: Everything you own is trash.
Damian: You’re basically a hoarder, Drake.
Tim: *chugs a mug of coffee and stains his three-day-old shirt further*
Tim: Not true. Everything has meaning. Everything is connected to something else.
Playing a prank on your sleep-deprived, way-too-tired-to-care brother be like…
Tim: You mean I’ve had a toy on my desk all this time?
Jason: You mean you thought you had a real landmine on your desk?
Tim: Dick’s been looking for you all morning.
Jason: What does he want?
Tim: I don’t know, but he’s dressed strangely.
Jason: Really? How can you tell?
Dropping by the Manor to have a word with your adoptive father be like…
Red Hood: *slams the door behind him*
Red Hood: Did you hear any of that?
Arsenal: Uhhh… I understood “Crazy old bat”, “Go kill yourself”, then “I love you”.
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