Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes

Guess who lost the Robins’ Rock, Paper, Scissors battle to not accompany Damian gift shopping?

Damian [to employee]: If I were to give you this gift basket, based on that action alone, and no other data, infer and describe the hypothetical relationship that exists between us.

Employee: Excuse me?

Damian: Here. *hands gift basket to employee* Now, are we friends, colleagues, lovers? Are you my grandmother?

Employee: I don’t understand what you’re talking about, and you’re making me a little uncomfortable.

Jason: *grabs Damian by the scruff of his neck*

Jason: See, sounds just like you and Raven. We’ll take it.

Jason: *takes the gift basket and drags Damian away*

Damian: *kicks Jason’s bedroom door open*

Jason: *pauses from typing on his laptop*

Damian: Todd.

Damian: I trusted you with my e-mail address, and you betrayed that trust by sending me Internet banality.

He only accepts those adorable kitten-related memes, Jay.

Damian: *sneers*

Tim: I am going to introduce you to a world of hurt, you little brat!

Tim: *charges towards Damian*

Jason: *grabs Tim by the scruff of his neck*

Jason: You don’t want to get into it with Damian. The kid is one lab accident away from being a super villain.

Tam: Tim isn’t the kind of guy I usually go out with…

Jason: Timbo isn’t the kind of guy anyone usually goes out with.

You’re one to talk, Jay. Not exactly a lot of guys resurrected by the Lazarus Pit walking around.

When you’re only starting to realize just how particular your best friend is about everything…

Roy: Jason says he’s moving out of the safe house.

Damian: What did you do? Did you change the contrast or brightness settings on the television?

Roy: No.

Tim: Did you take a Band-Aid off in front of him?

Roy: No.

Dick: Did you buy generic ketchup? Forget to rinse the sink? Talk to him through the bathroom door?

That one time Superboy cried because Robin wouldn’t accept his birthday present for him…

Kara [about Jon]: Well, Damian, you are his best friend. Friends give each other presents.

Damian: I accept your premise; I reject your conclusion.

Tim [to Kara]: *whispering* Try telling him it’s a non-optional social convention.

Kara: What?

Jason: Just do it.

Kara [to Damian]: It’s a… non-optional social convention.

Damian: Ah. Fair enough. *takes the gift and walks away*

Dick: *grins* He came with a manual.

Tim: *stress-eating his fifth Spudnut*

Tim: Now that I’m actually about to go out with Tam, I’m not excited, I’m nauseated.

Damian: Then your meal choice is appropriate. Starch absorbs fluid, which reduces the amount of vomit available for violent expulsion.

Dami, sweetie, you’re not helping.

When you make fun of your little brother for not being born “conventionally”…

Damian: You see, I’m a superior genetic mutation, an improvement on the existing mediocre stock.

Jason: And what do you mean by “mediocre stock”?

Damian: That would be you.