When Nightwing’s away on a mission and the only adult available for relationship advice is your, um, other older brother…
Jason: *shrugs* I don’t know what to tell you. Buy her something.
Tim: How does that work?
Jason: Well, you skip over any attempt to repair your emotional connection and you win back her affection with an empty financial gesture.
When another superhero/vigilante hits on Spoiler during a mission…
Cass [to Steph]: Doesn’t he know you have a boyfriend?
Barbara: Oh, she doesn’t have a boyfriend. She has a Tim.
Tim: *tightening his tie and straightening out his double-breasted suit in front of a mirror*
Tim: I’m going to the movies with Tam. I don’t want her to think I think it’s a date.
Jason: Do you think it’s a date?
Tim: *clipping his cuff links and shining his black Oxford shoes* No, but she might think I think it’s a date, even though I don’t.
Jason: Or you might think she thinks you think it’s a date, even though she doesn’t.
Tim: *grooming his hair* Are we overthinking this?
Jason: *handing him a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates* Not at all.
If you ever wonder what Red Hood watches on TV in his spare time…
After an intense sparring session in the Batcave:
Jason: *panting* Come on, Timmy. I’m exhausted. And Tyra Banks says that the most important item in your make-up bag is a good night’s sleep.
Signs that your little brother’s not so little anymore…
At Red Hood’s safe house-warming party:
Damian: Todd, can I bring girls here?
Jason: You? Sure. Bring as many as you want.
Damian: Okay.
Jason: Just not against their will.
Practicing for his Batfamily reunion stand-up routine…
Tim: What do Damian and a black hole have in common? They both suck.
And he’ll say it with a straight face, too.
When your master hacker of a brother sets up the fastest Wi-Fi ever in his bedroom…
Jason: Hey, Timbo, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Tim: Yes, it’s “Jason, get your own Wi-Fi”. No spaces.
Commentating for a remote control-motivated scuffle between your two younger brothers be like…
Jason: Tim’s going all alpha-nerd on Damian’s ass!
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *cooking pancakes*
Dick: *doing a headstand and using his feet as hands* Blueberry, Jay!
Alfred: *slapping Dick’s feet away from the kitchen counter* Same, Master Jason.
Bruce: *reading the Gotham Gazette* Hn. Same.
Tim: *pouring a fizzing liquid from one test tube to another* Same.
Damian: -Tt-
Jason: Okay, so the same for everyone, with extra spit on Damian’s.
Nightwing: *looking at his motorcycle’s side mirror*
Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: Radio contact is sufficient, Hood. No need to extend your middle finger.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Jaaay.
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