Stranded in a swamp…
Red Robin: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Red Hood: Gee, I don’t know, Tim. Maybe deep down, I’m afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction.
Red Robin: The…?
Red Hood: Physically unchanged for 100 million years, because it’s the perfect killing machine – a half-ton of cold-blooded fury, with a bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hooves. And now we’re surrounded, those snake-eyes are watching from the shadows, waiting for the night –
Nightwing: ♪ Waiting for the night! ♪
Robin: Damn it, Grayson!
Nightwing: ♪ Ooh-hoo! ♪
Red Hood: Keep your voice down!
Nightwing: Why?! Crocodiles don’t have ears!
Red Hood: They absolutely have ears, dickhead!
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
On an overloaded plane over the Atlantic Ocean…
Nightwing: Hello? Time’s a bit of a factor here!
Red Hood: Tim, for the love of bats, man, jump!
Red Robin: Just throw out the kryptonite!
Red Hood: What?! No! I’m not telling Bruce I lost the original hundred pounds of –
Nightwing and Red Robin: Kilos!
Red Hood: Whatever unit of measurement – of kryptonite! Plus, all this kryptonite! Do you have any idea how pissed he’d be?
Nightwing: Well, the alternative is a belly-landing in a swamp filled with alligators!
Red Hood: No. No, no, no. No. What if, um…
Red Robin: Jason! Alligators or Bruce!
Red Hood: What’s the difference?! They’re both cold-blooded prehistoric monsters!
The Batboys discussing how to save Batman, who’s being held captive by Bane…
Red Hood: Don’t worry about me, I’m –
Nightwing: – not going on another stupid rampage!
Red Hood: Well, maybe a limited rampage.
Nightwing: No!
Red Hood: Modified limited rampage?
Red Robin: *runs hand through face in frustration* Jason.
Robin: *strapping on a variety of weapons and explosives on his body*
Robin: Don’t worry about our methods.
Red Robin: Oh, so suddenly you don’t have a death wish?
Red Hood: Timmy, I’ve never had a deathwish. It’s just that I don’t believe that I personally even can die. Again.
When your heavily sleep-deprived, case-obssessed brother hasn’t even changed his clothes in three days…
Jason: *loudly slurping a milkshake*
Tim: *pauses from typing on the Batcomputer*
Jason: *burps loudly*
Tim: *grits teeth* You know what I don’t have time for?
Jason: *wipes his mouth sloppily with the back of his hand* Shopping for clothes?
At a Batfamily mission briefing…
Red Robin [about a grounded Robin]: Why is he even in this briefing? He’s not allowed to go on missions!
Batman: Because he always stows away somehow.
When you wake up strapped to the back of your brother’s motorcycle after being infected by Scarecrow’s fear toxin…
Red Robin: Just curious. What happened between your safe house and right now?
Red Robin: Well, you were hysterical, Tim, so I thought the best thing to do would be to inject you with a tranquilizer, drive you to a private air field, put you on a stolen plane, fly you overnight to Gateway City, and then… that brings us to now.
The true story behind Tim’s “death” in Detective Comics #940…
Jacob: Putting aside why you’d want to fake your own death –
Tim: Because I have to get away from my family! They’re a seething cauldron of dysfunctional, chaotic, neurotic, narcissistic, quasi-incestuous megalomaniacs!
Sometime during Nightwing’s “Brothers in Blood” story arc…
BPD Police Officer: Excuse me, I am effecting an arrest!
Red Hood: Great. While you’re at it, arrest him.
Officer: Who?
Nightwing: *angrily screaming at Red Hood while jumping out of an eighth-story window*
Red Hood: *smirks* If for nothing else, that outfit.
When you’ve gotta go rescue your eldest brother…
Red Hood: Well, I guess that settles that! I mean, it’s not like we can just waltz into enemy territory and… Well, I certainly can’t.
Robin: Can’t? Or won’t?
Red Hood: Both, either, all! They’d shoot me on sight, Little D.
Red Hood: And if you want Big D so damn bad, you can go get him your–
* sound of Batmobile tires screeching *
Red Hood: Huh. I didn’t think he’d actually do it.
—
Really, Jay? You thought Dami was beyond doing something like that?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 