Batman:
Justice League:
Batman: *has four pairs of pixie boots under his cape and two domino mask-covered pairs of eyes peeking out of it*
Justice League: …
Superman: So, Bruce… Why didn’t you tell us you had children?
Batman: Okay, here’s the deal. I didn’t want you to know.
Because he works alone, okay?
At the Batcave’s Minor Procedures Room…
Alfred: *filling a syringe with anesthesia*
Red Hood: *gripping Damian’s hand with both of his*
Red Hood: It’s okay, little buddy, I’m right here with you. Go ahead, Alf.
Robin: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Red Hood: Hey, please go easy on the kid!
Robin: No, you’re squishing my hand, Todd!
Red Hood: Oh. Sorry. But did you feel the shot?
Robin: *glances at the newly emptied syringe being held by Alfred*
Robin: No.
Red Hood: You’re welcome.
Alfred: Perhaps you’d prefer to wait in your room, Master Jason.
Red Hood: I’d prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!
At the Batcave’s Minor Procedures Room…
Red Hood: *holding Damian’s hand as Damian’s about to get stitches*
Red Hood: It’s okay, buddy, I’m right here with you. Go ahead, Alf.
Robin: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Red Hood: Hey, please go easy on the kid!
Robin: No, you’re squishing my hand, Todd!
Red Hood: Oh. Sorry. But did you feel the shot?
Robin: No.
Red Hood: You’re welcome.
Alfred: Perhaps you’d prefer to wait in your room, Master Jason.
Red Hood: I’d prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!
Damian: *guarding the door at Red Robin’s Nest*
Tim: *on a gurney*
Jason: *knocks*
Damian: *opens the door* Todd, this really isn’t the best time. Drake is pretty sick.
Jason: Oh, no. Poor Timbo. Is Damian taking good care of you?
Tim: Not really.
Jason: Would you like me to take care of you?
Tim: Not really.
Where’re Alfred and Dick when you need ‘em?
When Red Robin comes back to the land of the living…
Tim: Okay, um, well, I’m thankful that I can spend my first day back with all the people I love and all the people who love me… and Damian.
“Fatherhood for Dummies” by Bruce Wayne…
Dick: You’re writing Damian a check? What kind of gift is that?
Bruce: You told me he likes Transformer toys. This check transforms into any toy he wants.
Let him be very clear…
Jason [to the Batfamily]: There’s something you should know about me. When I say “I understand”, it doesn’t mean that I agree, it doesn’t mean that I understand, it doesn’t even mean that I’m listening.
Oh, our bad, Jay. Our bad.
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *pops open a can of beer*
Damian: If drinking makes you feel bad, why do you drink, Todd?
Jason: Nobody likes a smart ass, kid.
Damian: You have to put a dollar in the swear jar. You said “ass”.
Jason: Tell you what. Here’s a twenty. That ought to cover me until lunch.
When Red Robin comes back to the land of the living…
Jason [to Tim]: Look at you! All grown up and back living with Bruce… How good do you feel about yourself right now, on a scale from one to two?
When your pesky little brother comes over to your safe house…
Damian: *shuts the refrigerator door*
Jason: What are you smiling about?
Damian: *smirks* You don’t have any food.
Jason: Yeah, but I’m not the one who’s hungry. Who’s smiling now, shorty?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 