A toast with Timothy Drake-Wayne…
Tim: To happiness!
Tim: Or, as I like to call it, sadness in its early stages.
The bottle of pinot noir? $20.
The ensuing awkward silence? Priceless.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Tam: *reading Ra’s al Ghul’s casefile* So, how old is this guy?
Tim: Let me put it this way: He was one of the original investors in Apple, the fruit.
Rescuing your brother be like…
Robin: *successfully hacks into the mainframe and shuts down the forcefield that trapped Tim*
Red Robin: *smirks* You came back for me. You love me.
Robin: I pity you.
When Red Hood met Superboy…
Tim: *standing in between Jason and Conner* I won’t allow you to hurt my best friend!
Jason: Calm down! You finally found a friend. Do not screw it up.
Chatting with a rogue you just caught to pass the time while en route to Arkham Asylum be like…
Harley: … non-familial relationships.
Batman: Hn. Why didn’t you just say “friends”?
Harley: I gots the diplomas, Bats! I like to use ‘em.
Outside Black Mask’s warehouse full of fuel tanks…
Red Hood: *lights up a match*
Red Robin: Jason, if you do what I think you’re going to do, I swear I will never speak to you again.
Red Hood: Really? Then, by all means, tell me exactly what you think I’m going to do.
During Robin’s first week at the Titans Tower…
Starfire: What is wrong with him?!
Nightwing: Nothing organic. We’ve had him checked.
See, working with Damian Wayne is what you’d call “acquired taste”.
Tim [about Tam]: She broke up with her ex-boyfriend. She said she didn’t want to go backwards.
Jason: In what multiverse is dating you not going backwards?
Tim: I know. This guy must be all kinds of messed up.
Dick: You eat a lot of fish. Aren’t you worried about mercury?
Jason: Dick, on the list of things I expect to kill me, mercury poisoning ranks well below liver failure, getting struck by lightning, and being murdered by a clown (again). Guess which one I’m rooting for?
Why Batman got the ol’ silent treatment during patrol that night…
Four hours ago, at a Wayne Foundation gala…
Senator: You have wonderful sons, Mr. Wayne.
Bruce: Yes, I do. But Dick, Tim, and Damian must never learn of them.
Senator and Bruce: *pompous laughter*
Dick, Tim, and Damian: …
Batman:
Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:
Batman: I’m –
Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin: *grapple-hook away*
Lighten up, boys. It was just one glass of champagne too many.
Also, Jason’s legally dead, so he’s like, “Meh”.
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