When you’ve been hopped up on caffeine for way too long…
The Batfamily: *watching Cassandra’s ballet recital at the Gotham City Opera House*
Tim: This is amazing! And possibly in real time!
In which Jason and Damian get permission from Dick to tranquilize their brother.
In the middle of a firefight and they’re horribly outnumbered…
Red Hood: What do you want me to do? *cocks both guns*
Robin: Stay alive, Todd… or don’t!
Red Hood: I’m on it! *jumps into the fray*
*shakes head* Robins.
Bruce: I scolded Damian today, so according to – *reads smudged writing on his palm* — “The Robin Bylaws”, I now have to grant him three wishes.
Alfred: …
Parenting. Comes easy, it does not.
Dick drafted the original bylaws, by the way. Jason, Tim, and Damian merely perfected them.
Brainstorming with your brothers, part 2…
Red Robin: *sighs*
Red Robin: Maybe we should brainstorm fundraising ideas that aren’t bake sales – *glares at Red Hood*
Red Robin: – or zoos where the humans are in cages and the animals come to visit. *glares at Robin*
In which you desperately need money to have the Batmobile repaired before Batman comes back from space and finds out that y’all took it for a joyride.
Brainstorming with your brothers be like…
Nightwing, Red Hood, and Robin: *stare expectantly at Tim, waiting for his approval*
Red Robin: Did you all hit your heads on each other’s heads?
Fighting with “yourself” be like…
Earth 261564817’s Red Hood: I’ve been counting our bullets. One of us it out.
Our Red Hood: Is it you?
Theirs: Yes.
Ours: Why would you tell me that?
Discussing how to get back at your bully of a tiny brother…
Jason: Why don’t you give Damian one of those pills you take? That’ll make him give up on his dreams.
Tim: Relaxarex doesn’t make you give up on your dreams! That’s a side effect!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
In which Jason’s jaw drops. That’s a real thing? I was kidding, Timbo… C’mere, let me – stop pushing – let me hug you.
Why Batman’s a superhero of few words…
Batman: *stares at villain/colleague/best friend/family member*
Batman: Hn. You’re not worth the monologue.
Damian: There are only two things I don’t do well: apologies and drawing duck bills.
Phenomenal artist, this little one. Just not great with duck bills. Oh, and humility.
Red Hood: Don’t tell me what I can’t do! What are you, Cosmo’s July quiz?
Nightwing:
Red Hood:
Nightwing: What?
Red Hood: What?
So he likes to read. Big whoop, Dick.
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