Black Mask: You’re in big trouble, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
Red Hood: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
And now he just feels sorry for you, Roman.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Dick: Timmy, what would you do if you were attacked by an invisible, malevolent force?
Tim: *shrugs* I’d tell Jason to lay off the bean burritos at lunch.
Damian: *walks away after insulting Jason*
Jason: He’s a mean kid.
Tim: So, what? You’re mean, too.
Jason: Yes, but not to you!
Tim: Yesterday you told me my head was too big for my neck.
Jason: That was… constructive criticism.
Tim: Well, what am I supposed to do about it, Jay?!
Jason: As a brother, my job is only to point things out.
Mornings at the Manor…
Bruce: *drinking coffee, watching as his children gather in a small circle in the kitchen*
Tim: So, hands in.
Jason, Steph, Duke: *put their hands one on top of the other over Tim’s*
Tim: Defeat that little brat Damian on three! 1, 2, 3!
Bruce: *spits out coffee*
You kids just couldn’t at least let your father finish his coffee in peace, could you?
Conner: Tim, have you ever been beaten up before?
Tim: Yeah, sure.
Conner: By someone besides Damian?
Duke: *staring in awe at all the Robin memorabilia in the Batcave*
Nightwing: People do crazy things for their adoptive fathers. You’ll see.
You’ve been warned, Duke.
Jason: Did I tell you I got pepper-sprayed today?
Tim: You say that like it’s a good thing.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And that was just for entering Damian’s room.
Nightwing: *watching as debris from the explosion floats in the night sky* Do you think the Joker’s still alive?
Batman: He’s alive.
Nightwing: How do you know?
Batman: Because he’s not done with me yet.
Damian: You are the worst vacation-taker in the world!
Damian: *stomps up the stairs, goes to his bedroom, and slams the door shut*
Bruce:
Alfred:
Bruce: *shrugs*
Alfred: *sighs, shakes his head, and walks away*
So your father left a realistic blow-up version of himself inside the tent then went off-planet to respond to a Justice League S.O.S. while you roasted marshmallows and waited six hours for him to come out and regale you with stories of his early vigilante days by a campfire…
He still loves you, kid.
When a highly dangerous supervillain’s in town and your overprotective adoptive father orders you to “stay out of it”…
Nightwing: *noiselessly drops down from the ceiling in the middle of a heavily guarded warehouse*
Batman: *bruised, bloodied, bound to a metal contraption and on the verge of losing consciousness* D-Dick, what are you –
Nightwing: *disables the handcuffs* If you wanted a binding agreement, we should have pinky-sweared.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 