Overnight visits at the Manor be like…
Jason: Well, goodnight, Little D.
Damian: Oh, goodnight, Todd. Sleep tight. There’s a bus schedule underneath your pillow.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
When your best friend asks you if you’d want to get away from crimefighting in the city for a while and just hang out at his farm…
Superman: So… ?
Batman: *stares off into the distance*
Superman: Um, Bruce… ?
Batman: *breathes in the air like he’s smelling fresh flowers*
Batman: Spending the day far away sounds like a dream, Clark. I love being a father, but there are a few things I miss. Silence. The absence of noise. One single moment undisturbed by my children trying to kill each other.
When your youngest brother wants to show you his appreciation…
Dick: You’re giving us… stickers?
Damian: Not just any sticker. Those are stickers of a kitty saying, “Me-wow!”.
Tim: We’re not preschoolers.
Damian: Fine, I’ll take them all back.
Jason: I earned this! Back off!
Dick and Jason: *watching as Tim downs his fourth cup of coffee, spilling some on his ketchup and mustard-stained shirt, burps loudly, and wipes dried slobber off his face*
Dick: *sighs*
Jason: I love him, but if he’s broken, let’s ask Bruce not to get a new one.
When you’re doing surveillance and bored out of your mind and your little brother’s “lectures” aren’t helping…
Robin: What are you doing now, Todd?
Red Hood: *rolling up a piece of paper* Making a straw.
Robin: Why?
Red Hood: So I can shoot you with a spitball.
Robin: You’re not going to do that, and I’ll tell you why. This is a mission, I am your partner, and you’re going to treat me with the prop – *chokes a bit* You shot your spit in my mouth!
Red Hood: Is this gonna be a long night? Because I don’t think I could do that again.
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *munching on strawberry-flavored Poptarts*
Tim: *staring blankly ahead*
Jason: *waves a hand in front of his brother’s face*
Tim:
Jason: *snaps his fingers*
Tim:
Jason: *tips the big mug of coffee over, spilling its contents*
Tim: *slowly turns his head to face Jason*
Jason: You’re being so quiet. Are you upset or are you just rebooting?
Guess who lost the Robins’ Rock, Paper, Scissors battle to not accompany Damian gift shopping?
Damian [to employee]: If I were to give you this gift basket, based on that action alone, and no other data, infer and describe the hypothetical relationship that exists between us.
Employee: Excuse me?
Damian: Here. *hands gift basket to employee* Now, are we friends, colleagues, lovers? Are you my grandmother?
Employee: I don’t understand what you’re talking about, and you’re making me a little uncomfortable.
Jason: *grabs Damian by the scruff of his neck*
Jason: See, sounds just like you and Raven. We’ll take it.
Jason: *takes the gift basket and drags Damian away*
How to stay moisturized during freezing patrol nights in Gotham City…
Nightwing: *carefully pouring liquid from a tiny bottle onto his finger, then gently dabbing some of it on his lips* I’m telling you, Jay. Olive oil.
Red Hood: *grimaces* Dick, just because it’s good on salad it doesn’t mean it’s good on your lips.
Red Hood: If you bring sarcasm my way, baby, prepare to be stung.
Nightwing: Jay…
Red Hood: So’s your face!
Red Robin: That doesn’t even make any sense.
Red Hood: “So’s your face” always makes sense.
Robin: -Tt- Todd, that’s stupid.
Red Hood: So’s your face! Man, I am on fire!
When your youngest brother’s mother drops by for a visit…
Talia: *grinning while running her fingers along her sword’s blade*
Red Robin: *whispering* Okay, this woman is horrifying, so don’t panic.
Red Hood: *scoffs* I’ll be fine.
Red Robin: I was talking to myself.
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