At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Tim: So how come you don’t have to get all dressed up?
Jason: I am dressed up. You see any holes in these pants?
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Giving your brother a tour of your new hometown be like…
Nightwing: This part of Blüdhaven might be very rough, but, Jay, the people here are the best!
Red Hood: *staring at his motorcycle* I’m pretty sure I had wheels when I parked here.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Ha! Serves you right, Jason Todd. Serves you right.
Dick: Listen to me, Damian. Your whole life has led to this moment.
Dick: All the training, the hours of dedication…
Dick: There’s not a soul alive that can touch you…
Dick: … when it comes to Laser Tag. And, Li’l Bro, you know it. *pats Damian’s armor* Look at me. Be you!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
And that is how Dick and Damian impossibly beat the crap out of Jason and Tim.
Sometimes all it takes is a little pep talk from your favorite brother.
Barry: So, what’s Batman’s son like?
Hal: If Hannibal Lecter and Freddy Krueger had a lovechild, that kid would be afraid of Robin.
Hal: And that’s just Tim, you don’t want to know about Damian…
At Red Hood’s safe house…
Jason: *heaving and clutching at his chest*
Jason, to Damian, who’s clinging to the ceiling like a spider: What have I said about you sneaking up on me? I could’ve been shaving. This could’ve been a Sweeney Todd moment!
Artemis: Look, I’ll tell you something else. I mean, Batman is a text-book, closed-off, alpha male. You can try forever, but you’re never going to get that hug that you really want.
Red Hood: Uh, excuse me, I’m not a child. I’m a grown man.
Red Hood’s Brain: And I’ll get that hug!
As closed-off as he seems, Bruce loves hugging his kids (yes, ‘tis canon). And Jason has gotten and does get his share, even in adulthood. It’s just that they both tend to act as if it’s not a thing they long for from each other.
Dick: Why is your mouth red?
Jason: Duct-taped for two hours in a morgue drawer, don’t piss off the tiny brat, end of story.
When your fiancé would rather be on patrol than go cake tasting…
Selena: Bat, we’re getting married tomorrow! Meow!
Bruce: Hrrrn…
Selena: Why aren’t you excited?
Bruce: Because, Cat, we’ve been here for an hour and you’ve already said it thirteen times.
Selena: But we’re getting married tomorrow!
When your fiancé would rather be on patrol than go cake tasting…
Selena: Bat, we’re getting married tomorrow! Meow!
Bruce: Hrrrn…
Selena: Why aren’t you excited?
Bruce: Because, Cat, we’ve been here for an hour and you’ve already said it thirteen times.
Selena: But we’re getting married tomorrow!
Artemis: Look, I’ll tell you something else. I mean, Batman is a text-book, closed-off, alpha male. You can try forever, but you’re never going to get that hug that you really want.
Red Hood: Uh, excuse me, I’m not a child. I’m a grown man.
Red Hood’s Brain: And I’ll get that hug!
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