Barbara: Tell me who has me for Secret Santa.
Dick: No! That takes all the fun out of it.
Barbara: *glares behind her glasses*
Dick: It’s Jason. He got you a scarf. I’ll make him return it.
Barbara: Yes, you will.
Tag: dick grayson
Duke [about Dick]: Does he always talk this much?
Jason: I just tune it out. It’s like a white noise machine.
Dick: Okay, first of all, that’s racist!
Dick [to a grateful citizen]: That’s how we do it in the
Blüdhaven Police Department, sir. Catch bad guys and look good doing it.
Bruce trying to get sensitive information about a case from Dick…
Dick: I will tell you on six conditions. Number one, you let me use the Batcave to practice my dance moves. Second –
Bruce: How about this? If you tell me, I won’t have you suspended by Alfred without allowance.
Dick: Oh, that sounds great.
Jason trying to trick Tim into lending him money…
Jason: Dick needs the money.
Tim: For what?
Jason: Uhmm, for butt reduction surgery.
Damian: Smart. That’s a real problem area for Grayson.
Wally: Aw, man, this is almost too easy.
Dick: Are you crying?
Wally: No, that’s eyeball sweat.
Dick: If anything goes wrong, Tim, fake a heart attack.
Tim: What are you thinking? Classic angina or something sexier, like myocardial infarction?
Dick: Just drop down onto the ground and wiggle.
Jason: How about this? I’ll work off my debt to each of you. I’ll do anything you want. How does that sound?
Tim: Anything?
Jason: Am I the only one that was super creeped out by that?
Dick: No, that was definitely creepy.
Damian: Yeah, he wants you to do something real weird.
At a Batfamily reunion in Wayne Manor…
Bruce: Hello, party people. Dick told me to say that.
Dick: Yeah, I did. Ain’t no party like a Bruce Wayne party because a Bruce Wayne party is a total surprise to everyone.
After Red Hood accidentally falls off a roof while in pursuit of a suspect and screams “Dad!” at Batman…
Bruce: Do you see me as a father figure, Red Hood?
Jason: No. If anything, I see you as a bother figure, because you’re always bothering me.
Dick: Hey! Show Batdad some respect.
Jason: I didn’t call him “dad”.
Bruce: No, no. Nightwing, I take it as a compliment.
Tim: It’s not a big deal. I called Spoiler “mom” once and she’s my girlfriend.
Jason: Guys, jump on that. Red Robin has psycho-sexual issues.
Danian: Old news. But you calling Father “daddy”.
Jason: Hey, “daddy” is not on the table here.
Suspect: *in handcuffs* Well, you did call him “dad”, dude.
Jason: You shut up! You’ve done nothing but lie since you got here.
Suspect: Okay, I was lying about the hold-up, but the “daddy” thing, that happened.
Jason: Aha! He admitted the alibi was a lie. All part of my crazy, devious plan.
Bruce: I believed you –
Jason: Thank you.
Bruce: – son.
Bruce: You want to talk about it later over patrol?
Jason: I’d like that.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 