Dick: You cracked the parental code on the cable box again, didn’t you?
Damian: It’s “1234”. Even a monkey could crack that, Grayson.
Really, Dick? Really?
Tag: dick grayson
Dick: *hangs a picture of Superman on his wall*
Jason: Okay, do yourself a favor and stop worshipping this dude. There’s already a guy in your life who’s worth looking up to and modeling yourself after.
Dick: Bruce?
Jason: … Okay, two guys.
Alfred? No, Dick. Wally? Guess again. … Tim? Oh, for the love of – !
When asked what injuries members of the Batfamily commonly sustain…
Jason: Last summer Dick actually fractured his butt doing a cannonball into the bath tub.
Dick: Is there anything you eat that makes you sick?
Wally: *shrugs* I ate a worm once.
Hypermetabolism, ultra-fast healing, and all that.
Sparring session at the Batcave…
Nightwing: *lights up escrima sticks*
Red Hood: *cocks guns*
Red Robin: *twirls Bo staff*
Robin: *pulls sword out of scabbard*
Robin: *pushes it back*
Red Robin: *smirks* What are you afraid of?
Robin: I’m afraid I’m gonna hit you all so hard that I’ll be an only child.
And he didn’t mean that to be cocky this time. It’s a legitimate concern.
Batman:
Justice League:
Batman: *has four pairs of pixie boots under his cape and two domino mask-covered pairs of eyes peeking out of it*
Justice League: …
Superman: So, Bruce… Why didn’t you tell us you had children?
Batman: Okay, here’s the deal. I didn’t want you to know.
Because he works alone, okay?
Dick: Hey, hey. Maple Loops is part of a nutritious and balanced breakfast.
Wally: Yeah, if you eat it with a steak and some broccoli.
“Fatherhood for Dummies” by Bruce Wayne…
Dick: You’re writing Damian a check? What kind of gift is that?
Bruce: You told me he likes Transformer toys. This check transforms into any toy he wants.
Taking your circus-raised son to a gala be like…
Dick: *grabs three empty champagne flutes from a table*
Dick: Have you ever tried to juggle?
Bruce: Yes. I’m juggling my love for you and my embarrassment of you right now.
When you learn that your brother has a self-esteem issue (i.e., a little too much of it)…
Dick: Okay, let’s try this. Think of yourself as one of those limited edition toys people like to collect.
Damian: I already do.
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