Bruce putting his sons to sleep be like…
Tim [to Bruce]: Why do I have to sleep beside Damian? He stinks.
Damian: When you fall asleep tonight, I’m gonna fart in your face!
Tag: damian wayne
Why Bruce usually prefers to eat dinner alone (and realized that he should stop convincing Alfred to go on vacations)…
Tim [to Damian]: You’re such a #$!+@!
Dick: Guys. Please.
Jason: *smirks*
Damian: What? Did you just call me a “#$!+@”???
Bruce: Boys, that’s enough.
Damian: You can go =$#@* a %>¡#!
Tim: Oh, please, tell me, Damian, how exactly does one =$#@* a %>¡#?
Damian: *gets up from seat* You want me to tell you?
Tim: *crosses arms and sits back* Please, tell me.
Dick: *stands up, readying himself to pry his brothers off each other*
Jason: *starts taking a video with his phone to send to Roy*
Bruce: *rubbing his temples* We will not have this at the dinner table.
Tim: *sneers* I’m all ears.
–
Annnnnd there was no patrolling that night, just a family trip to the ER.
Delegating tasks during a mission…
Nightwing: Red Robin, you take those bombs and you throw them off a bridge.
Robin: And throw yourself off while you’re at it!
Red Hood [to thug]: I bark.
Red Hood: That kid there, see him? *points to Robin*
Red Hood: He bites.
When asked what his younger brother was like…
Tim: *shrugs*
Tim: He won’t listen to anybody. He’s been very crazy all summer. Since June he’s been trying to kill me.
Damian’s version of “asking a favor”…
Damian: …and if you forget one thing, I will have you shaved, sterilized, and destroyed!
Listening to their youngest brother berate them be like…
Tim [to Jason]: Did he actually call himself “the talent”?
Tim [about Damian] He never listens!
Dick: Well, it runs in the family.
Tim: And when he does, it’s always with this… disappointed scowl, like someone skimped on the vegetables in his sandwich.
When you’d rather not deal with Batfamily…
Gotham City villain: *hears police sirens outside* I never thought I’d love to hear that sound.
Robin [on the Comm Link]: This is Robin. No, the other one.
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