The Batboys, getting off a plane, hands up in surrender, at gunpoint by the Air Force…
Dick: Don’t shoot!
Jason: We’re coming out, don’t shoot!
Air Force: *shouting at them to drop their weapons*
Tim: *cursing under his breath*
Jason: Do not shoot! Guys, it’s okay, I – Q clearance! I’ve got Q clearance!
Damian: Seriously, is that even a real thing?
Colonel: Q clearance? Let’s see about that. What’s your authentication phrase?
Jason: Sweet, dash, 44, tender, dash, 9, hot, dash, juicy. Porkchops.
Tim and Damian: *glaring*
Jason: *shrugs* I didn’t pick it.
Tag: damian wayne
Bruce: Because I don’t want it in the Batmobile.
Jason: Well, what do you want me to do, Bruce?
*Jason holds up a used airsickness bag*
Jason: Just throw it out the window?
Bruce: *through gritted teeth* Obviously.
Jason: Oh.
*Jason throws the bag out the car window, hitting Damian*
Damian: TODD!
Jason: Ha, ha!
When you’re greeted by excited squeals and dreamy sighs (in true Wayne fashion) on your first day at Gotham Academy…
Damian: Hello, female children.
Damian: Grayson, you hid my knives like I’m a child! And Todd got me those for my birthday, so if you don’t give them back, I’m telling!
First of all, you are a child, Damian. And secondly, really, Jason?
(Finally) Visiting your older brother’s Blüdhaven apartment after he begs you for the nth time…
Jason: *listening for Dick’s movements in the kitchen*
Jason [to Tim and Damian]: *whispering* Look, if we don’t leave now, he’ll use food and guilt to keep us here for the rest of our lives.
(Finally) Visiting your older brother’s Blüdhaven apartment after he begs you for the nth time…
Jason: *listening for Dick’s movements in the kitchen*
Jason [to Tim and Damian]: *whispering* Look, if we don’t leave now, he’ll use food and guilt to keep us here for the rest of our lives.
When you realize that little Robin’s not so little anymore…
Damian: I was going to spend the night with my special little lady –
Dick: *falls off the chandelier he was dangling from*
Jason: *chokes on the cigarette he was about to light up*
Tim: *wakes up*
Alfred: *accidentally pours tea on Tim*
Bruce: *freezes up*
Damian: – but she’s got worms and I had to take her to the vet.
Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Jason, and Tim: *collective sigh of relief*
How to really hurt your little brother (or fight dirty)…
Damian: *storming out*
Jason: Damian, wait!
Jason: Dobby the Elf dies in book seven.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Jason, *gasp*!
Why Robin went on patrol with a wedgie…
Damian [to Steph]: Thanks to you, I know better than to ask if you’re menstruating. And, based on your behavior, I don’t have to.
Fighting for territory in the Batcave be like…
Red Robin: Meanwhile, you still don’t have a vehicle! *gestures to the Redbird*
Robin: Don’t try to change the subject, Drake! This is about a parking space! It has nothing to do with vehicles!
Batman: *groans*
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