At the Wayne Manor attic…
Dick: *dramatically walks out from behind a dusty, old cabinet wearing his 80’s Nightwing suit*
Jason: *clears his throat loudly*
Tim: *standing absolutely still but with shoulders shaking*
Damian: *jaw drop*
Duke: *eyes wide, covering his mouth*
Dick: You guys think I’m some sort of a joke!
Jason, Tim, Damian, and Duke: *break into a fit of laughter*
Jason: *wiping tears off his eyes* This isn’t disproving that theory.
When you’re discussing the bad habits of superheroes and no one wants to consider your input…
Robin: Everyone just wants you to shut up, Todd.
Red Hood: And yet I won’t. Case in point.
Mornings at the Manor…
Duke: *nervously looks over his shoulder at Bruce pulling a sneering Damian by the scruff of the neck, Dick restraining a furious Tim via bear hug, Alfred telling Jason to get down from the kitchen counter, Cass ushering the family pets to safety, and the refrigerator on fire*
Duke: *sips chocolate milk, then looks straight into the Snapchat camera*
Duke: Jason attacked the counter with a fire axe and is still only the second craziest person in the kitchen.
Mornings at the Manor…
Bruce: *e-mailing the Justice League while discussing Wayne Tech plans with Lucius on the phone*
Dick: *stealthily picking blueberries off the pancakes on the serving tray while dangling upside down from the ceiling*
Alfred: *slapping Dick’s hand away while preparing Tim’s morning espresso shots*
Jason: *holding up a bag of catfood so it’s out of Damian’s reach*
Damian: *on his tippy toes trying to reach it while muttering censor-worthy threats to Jason*
Tim: *eyelids drooping and eyes red, wiping dried-up slobber off his face* How long was I out? Is Napster still a thing?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Who’s gonna tell him?
At the Kent Farm…
Damian: *gets a hug from Jon*
At Wayne Manor…
Dick: *receives a text message* Little D: I need help reacting to something.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
He’s… not used to affection.
At the Kent Farm…
Damian: *gets a hug from Jon*
At Wayne Manor…
Dick: *receives a text message* Little D: I need help reacting to something.
He’s… not used to affection.
When you’ve been hopped up on caffeine for way too long…
The Batfamily: *watching Cassandra’s ballet recital at the Gotham City Opera House*
Tim: This is amazing! And possibly in real time!
In which Jason and Damian get permission from Dick to tranquilize their brother.
In the middle of a firefight and they’re horribly outnumbered…
Red Hood: What do you want me to do? *cocks both guns*
Robin: Stay alive, Todd… or don’t!
Red Hood: I’m on it! *jumps into the fray*
*shakes head* Robins.
Bruce: I scolded Damian today, so according to – *reads smudged writing on his palm* — “The Robin Bylaws”, I now have to grant him three wishes.
Alfred: …
Parenting. Comes easy, it does not.
Dick drafted the original bylaws, by the way. Jason, Tim, and Damian merely perfected them.
Brainstorming with your brothers, part 2…
Red Robin: *sighs*
Red Robin: Maybe we should brainstorm fundraising ideas that aren’t bake sales – *glares at Red Hood*
Red Robin: – or zoos where the humans are in cages and the animals come to visit. *glares at Robin*
In which you desperately need money to have the Batmobile repaired before Batman comes back from space and finds out that y’all took it for a joyride.
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