Batman: I don’t remember asking for –
Superman: Bruce, please shut up and let me save your life.
Tag: clark kent
When asked what Batman’s superpower was…
Superman: Impossible is what Batman specializes in.
Clark: What was that look?
Bruce: What look?
Clark: The look you just gave me.
Bruce: I gave a look?
Clark: Yes.
Bruce: What kind of look?
Clark: I know that look.
Bruce: Then what was it?
Clark: Why should I tell you?
Bruce: You’re the big “look” expert. I want to see how smart you are.
Clark: Trust me, I know the look.
He knows it. Your children know it. Everyone who’s ever felt judged by you knows it, Batman. (Including the rogues.)
When Bruce and Clark met Diana…
Batman: *staring intently at Wonder Woman from across the room* Come stand next to me.
Superman: Why?
Batman: So she doesn’t think I’m creepy.
Superman: Well, you are creepy.
Batman: I realize this. That’s why I need you.
ma’am this is my emotional support alien
When another Multiverse Crisis hits…
Superman: I always imagined you’d have a secret lair beneath a volcano for such an occasion.
Batman: …
Batman: *grins*
Well, you’re probably not wrong, Clark.
Clark, scolding the Super Sons: We are not mad, just disappointed.
Bruce: No, we are mad.
Clark: Yes, we are mad. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide.
Bruce: No, we are not.
Clark: I’m not a mind reader, Bruce.
For this post by @incorrect-batfamily-quotes
Batjet: *glides down the Batcave driveway and parks itself smoothly*
Batjet door: *opens dramatically*
One of Batman’s boots: *steps out*
Red Robin: *shields his eyes from the brightness* AH!
The rest of Batman’s body: *gets out*
Red Hood: *snorts* HA! *covers his mouth as soon as the yell escapes his mouth*
Batman:
Batman: Hn.
Alfred: *taking the snow-white fur cape off Bruce’s shoulders* Welcome home, Master Bruce. I trust your mission in the Alps with Mr. Kent went well?
Batman: *grunts*
Nightwing: *trying desperately to contain his giggling* D-did y-y-you g-get a h-haircut over there, B?
Red Robin: *smirking and elbowing Jason’s ribs* Or a tan? Something’s definitely different.
Red Hood: *shaking uncontrollably and muttering* Stop it or I’m gonna lose it, Replacement.
Robin: Don’t be ridiculous, Drake. On an unrelated note, have you seen Disney’s “Frozen”, Father?
His brothers: *erupt into full-blown laughter*
Batman: *takes off his cowl, sighs wearily and slumps onto his computer chair*
Nightwing: *on the Comm Link, in a sing-song tone* Baaaabs, guess who just got into fashion? No, not me – Okay, yeah, but that’s not the point –
Robin: *on FaceTime with Jon* Kent, you will not believe – Oh, of course your father already told you –
Red Robin: *on the phone with Conner* – pictures, Dude –
Alfred: *serves him tea* Well, I think you look lovely, Master Bruce. The bright yellow goes well with all the brooding.
Batman:
Batman: *grinning as he sips tea*
Red Hood: *wiping blissful tears off his eyes as he types a message on Tumblr* @omgiamwish , quick, how do I wire-transfer money to your Earth?
Me: *comes up beside Jason, shaking my head and grinning* Yes, you have, @omgiamwish . Yes, you have.
Brilliant. Thank you!
After finding out that Red Hood’s a former Robin…
Superman: I know this comes as a shock to you –
Batman: Please, Clark. If I had a nickel for every time one of my sons died, got resurrected by an assassin overlord’s daughter, and came back as a lethal antihero, I’d haVE A NICKEL!
Superman: *hovering in the Gotham night sky* Come on, Bruce! When’s the last time we actually had dinner together?
Batman: *spying on a mob boss from five rooftops away* Four PM, Pacific Time, New Year’s Eve.
Look, Clark, he ain’t got time for things like diNnEr.
Superman: *whispering to Wonder Woman* If I had a dollar for every person I couldn’t hang out with because they didn’t like Batman, I’d be rich. Like fill-my-tractor-tank-up-all-the-way rich.
Meanwhile….
Batman: *turning off his earpiece* Hn.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
He may not have super hearing, but your best friend’s got super surveillance equipment, Clark.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 