When you’re trying to get work done but your sons decide that the Batcave is the ideal place for a squabble…
Jason: Well, what’s the word for you, Tim? You freaked out when I said “replacement”!
Tim: Imagine that!
Jason: You imagine it!
Bruce: *slams his fist on the Batcomputer*
Bruce: Both of you! Imagine. Shutting. Up.
Batman: *glaring* Have I made myself clear?
Red Hood: You’re looking for the answer “Yes”.
Batman: *grits teeth* Yes.
Red Hood: Then, “yes”.
Lobo’s response to Batman’s “lectures”…
Lobo: “The Main Man abides.”
–
Can’t always tell if it’s sarcastic or not, though.
Batman and Catwoman, a summary (or, well, “Fatal Attraction” AU)…
* A few rooftop chases, pounces, and scratches later *
Selina: I’m not gonna be ignored, Bruce!
“Under the Hood” – “The Godfather” AU…
Batman: *clutches Red Hood’s face with both hands and looks him dead in the eyes*
Batman: I know it was you, Jason. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!
Guy [to Jessica]: Pardon my French, but Batman is so uptight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.
Batman [to Nightwing]: Your destiny lies along a different path from mine.
Batman: The Batforce will be with you, always.
Early “Detective Comics” be like…
Batman: Elementary, my dear Robin.
Selina [to Bruce]: I always did like a bat in a uniform.
Batman changing clothes in the Watchtower be like…
Bruce [to Diana]: Would you be shocked if I put on something more comfortable?
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