On what it’s like working for Bruce Wayne…
Alfred: Actually, I value every second we are together, from the moment I squeeze his orange juice at midnight, till I tuck him in at two in the afternoon. He is not just my employer, he is my son, too.
Tag: bruce wayne
Bruce, on his deathbed: Goodbye, Dick. Stay as sweet as you are. Goodbye, Tim. I know you’ll make me proud. Goodbye, Jason… I like your jacket.
Batman: *lying on a gurney in the Batcave*
Superman: Is he well enough for me to start mothering him unbearably, Alfred?
Alfred: Hmm. Better let him rest up a while first.
Batman [to a criminal]: *gripping him tightly by the collar* You think you’ve got guts? Try raising my kids!
Why he sometimes regrets inviting colleagues to his kids’ recitals…
Bruce: *weeping with pride as Cass dances on stage* My daughter, my daughter…
Oliver: Come on, Bruce, she’s not that bad.
Visiting Batman at the hospital be like…
Hal: Bruce, you made it! How are you?
Bruce: *raspy voice* I have broken ribs. It hurts to talk, so I’ll just say one thing: You never do anything right.
A Robin, the first time he goes on patrol with the Batman: I don’t know why I did it, I don’t know why I enjoyed it, and I don’t know why I’ll do it again!
Batman: Look, son, all I’m asking is that you’ll try.
Robin: *shrugs* Okay, I’ll try.
Batman: *grabs Robin by the lapels* Anybody can try! I want you to win!
When anything happens…
Member of the Batfamily: Why do I get the feeling that someday I’ll be describing this to a psychiatrist?
Dick: I only got five hours of sleep last night.
Jason: Ha, I only got three.
Tim: I didn’t sleep at ALL.
Bruce: *stumbles into the kitchen, wearing a ripped pair of sweatpants*
Bruce: *pours coffee into the wrong end of the mug*
Bruce: what day is it
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