When one of your rogues weighs in on your situation after witnessing your sons bickering en route to the GCPD…
Batman [to Harley Quinn]: Your medical help is appreciated, but your family counseling is not.
Tag: bruce wayne
Superman: I just want to say that I’m honored you’re trusting me.
Batman: Oh, I’m not.
Did you mistake Bruce allowing you to know his secret identity, counting on you to save his life over and over, and leaving his three sons under your care during his battle with Bane for trust? Oh, Clark. You should know better.
When your super best friend could give Saran wrap a lesson…
Batman: *ignores vibrations coming from his pocket*
Wonder Woman: How many times a day does Clark text you?
Batman: Hrrrn.
Batman: Just… 40.
The truth behind Batman’s death in the New 52…
Bruce: You told them I was dead?
Dick: Well, as I recall, you told our entire family I was dead, so now we’re even!
Bruce: Dick, this isn’t a saying-people-are-dead competition.
Batman: The Twilight Years…
Bruce: *on his deathbed* Dick. What a surprise.
Dick: Really? Were you expecting somebody else? Maybe, uh, one of your other sons?
Bruce: Oh, Jason, Tim, and Damian never visit.
When Batman tries to be a “fun dad”…
Bruce: I just booked us a little fishing trip.
Jason: Why, what did I do?
Martian Manhunter: *pulling Batman and Green Lantern apart* Guy, there is no need for violence. There never is. I would like to think that we are all intelligent, mature adults that can settle their differences, whenever they come to light, through words.
Green Lantern: Yeah, well, I let my fists do the talking. Not this one, ‘cause obviously, I need it for wearing my ring and stuff. But this one, I let it speak for both of them.
But Batman’s good at using only one of his fists, too, ain’t he, Guy?
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: I’m going to speak very carefully in case he’s with you.
Red Robin: You’re right.
Red Hood: Right about what? He’s there? What’s going on? Who’s with you? If it’s Bruce, say “nobody”.
Red Robin: Nobody.
Red Hood: Well, now I don’t know what’s going on!
When you’re bored out of your mind at Kent Farm because your fathers are busy hanging out and won’t let you go on patrol without adult supervision…
Bruce and Clark: *chatting and drinking coffee*
Jon: *lies down on the grass* What are you doing?
Damian: *yawns* I’m just trying to throw batarangs at my father’s head, but the wind keeps taking it.
Bruce [to the Press]: I can assure you that my family is back on track and no longer in any trouble.
Lucius: *whispering* Not according to today’s paper.
Bruce: *tightens his grip on the podium* Hrrn. What have we done this time?
I mean, did Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin have anything to do with five million-worth of property damage last night fighting off criminals in Gotham City? Nah.
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