Arsenal: When I look at you, I see everything you have to offer.
Red Hood: Thank you, Roy –
Arsenal: But when everyone else looks at you, they see a man-child wearing a hood!
Tag: big brother of the year
When you’re frustrated with your seemingly unfeeling adoptive father…
Red Hood: *internally pulling his teeth out* Alfred gave you some tools to be a quasi-human, Bruce! You just have to use them!
Batman:
Red Hood: *externally screams*
Nightwing: Are you ready to take one for the family?
Red Hood: I’ve already made myself absolutely clear that I’m not a part of this family.
Red Hood: … But fine.
Dick: Hey, Jay, a penny for your thoughts?
Jason: How about a dime to leave me alone?
When one of Batman’s sons is brought in for questioning…
Commisioner Gordon: Are the cuffs really neccessary?
GCPD Officer: He broke both of Officer Wu’s arms, Sir –
Gordon: He what?!
Officer: – while shouting, “Wooo”.
Red Hood: Happy coincidence.
Gordon: Mr. Hood, do we have to sedate you?
Red Hood: Well, I wouldn’t say no to a drink.
Mission on a remote island…
Red Robin: *cutting through jungle foliage with his bo staff* Brat, who are you talking to – Oh, #*$@!!!
Alien: BLARG!
Robin: *standing in front of the nine-foot-tall, Predator-looking creature, ready to defend it* Stop! He is my friend! He’s not going to eat anybody!
Red Hood: *yelling from behind a bush* Yeah! Says you stink too much to eat!
Nightwing: You know, I really think we should try a non-violent approach to resolve this.
Red Hood: I agree, except replace the word “non” with “extremely”, and after the word “violent”, include the phrase "blood explosion extraordinaire"!
Trying to get your brother to make healthier choices be like…
Nightwing: *laying the blueprint for a warehouse across the street on the rooftop deck*
Red Robin: *setting up surveillance equipment*
Robin: *adjusting Goliath’s leash*
Red Hood: *coughs*
Red Robin: Wait a second, are you smoking inside of your helment again?
Red Hood: What? No.
Red Hood: *tries to stifle another cough as smoke comes out of the vents in his helmet* Oops.
Nightwing: *locating Alfred on his communicator* I knew this would happen. And how many snack cakes have you had today?
Red Hood: None.
Nightwing, Red Robin and Robin: *glare at him*
Red Hood: Okay, five… or more. Baker’s dozen at most.
Robin: Do you even know how many there are in a baker’s dozen, Todd?
Red Hood: By my count? Forty-eight.
Dick: *leaning over the sofa in the Wayne Manor library* Wow, Little Wing, you were asleep for a long time. What were you dreaming about?
Jason: *yawning and stretching, swiftly catching the novel that falls from his chest as he gets up* Nothing. I don’t like to dream. I try not to think while I’m sleeping.
Damian: *not looking up from the novel he’s reading at the other side of the room* That’s pretty much how you function while you’re awake, too.
Post-mission debriefing…
Batman: *listening*
Nightwing: At first, it didn’t seem physically possible.
Red Robin: But modern-day technology makes anything possible. It was as easy as Shake-‘N-Bake!
Red Hood: *wiggles eyebrows* And I helped.
Robin: Actually, Todd, I don’t really know if snickering in the corner all night like a prepubescent monkey actually qualifies as help, but it sure was entertaining.
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