After being infected with Scarecrow’s fear toxin…
Red Hood [on the Comm Link with Batman and Alfred]: I didn’t run away from home! I’m a grown man! Whose 15-year-old self was murdered in front of his very eyes! So excuse me for needing some time to grieve!
Tag: big brother of the year
Dick: *won’t stop making puns during family dinner*
Jason: *puts his utensils down, wipes his mouth with a napkin, sighs, and looks his older brother in the eye*
Jason: Everything you just said makes me want to give you a wedgie in front of the others.
Mission briefing…
Red Robin: Understood?
Nightwing: *double thumbs up*
Robin: *salutes*
Red Hood: *turns off Spotify streaming in his helmet*
Red Hood: Okay, I’m just nodding here and pretending like I have some idea of what you’re talking about.
Nightwing: You’re brilliant!
Red Hood: Of course I am! Why is everyone always surprised by that?
Red Robin: Jason, what are you doing here?
Red Hood: What are you doing here?
Red Robin: I don’t know. Following you to a bad part of town and saving your life. You know, the usual. Your turn.
At the safe house…
Doorbell: *buzzes*
Jason: *sighs* It’s Morse code. It’s Damian.
Roy: How do you know?
Jason: Because the doorbell just said, “It’s me, morons”.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: *drinking his twelfth cup of coffee* If Jerry the Turkey didn’t belong in the oven, then why did he fit?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
In which Dick and Jason race to save their little brother’s beloved pet (lest the War of the Century begin in the Wayne household).
Duke: *shrugs* I guess I like hanging around you guys. Don’t know why.
Dick: Thank you –
Jason: I’m not sure that was a compliment.
Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: *on his motorcycle, tailing them* Did you two just push Tim out of the moving Batmobile and yell, “You’re out of the team”?!
Red Hood: Now, in hindsight, that does seem kind of rash.
Robin: *pulling into a Batburger drive-through* It was kind of a snap decision.
Family Patrol Night…
Red Robin: *setting up surveillance equipment*
Red Hood: *tapping his foot impatiently*
Red Robin: *hacking into a supervillain’s mainframe computer*
Red Hood: *squirming*
Red Robin: *sighs and shakes his head*
Red Hood: I need to pee.
Red Robin: Don’t you think it’s weird that you’ve already gone seven times today?
Red Hood: I think it’s weird that you’re counting.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 