Mission on a remote island…
Red Robin: *cutting through jungle foliage with his bo staff* Brat, who are you talking to – Oh, #*$@!!!
Alien: BLARG!
Robin: *standing in front of the nine-foot-tall, Predator-looking creature, ready to defend it* Stop! He is my friend! He’s not going to eat anybody!
Red Hood: *yelling from behind a bush* Yeah! Says you stink too much to eat!
Tag: big brother of the year
Nightwing: Are you ready to take one for the family?
Red Hood: I’ve already made myself absolutely clear that I’m not a part of this family.
Red Hood: … But fine.
And the “Big Brother of the Year” Award goes to…
Jason: *reading the newspaper*
Damian: *slams his suitcase on the kitchen counter*
Damian [about Gotham Academy]: I can’t believe I have to start another year at school. I never learned anything at that suck shack.
Jason: Hey! Who taught you language like that?
Damian: A kid at school.
Jason: So you did learn something.
Jason: How many times must I say I’m sorry?
Tim: You haven’t said you’re sorry.
Jason: I know. I was hoping the number would be zero.
When you humor your 13-year-old League of Assassins-raised brother at his second chance at childhood…
Damian: *pretends to pour tea for Alfred the Cat, Batcow, Jerry the Turkey, Goliath, and Jason*
Jason: *facepalms* I don’t know why I agreed to this.
Damian: *glares* Because you like the taste of my imaginary tea.
Jason: Oh, you’re right. *“sips”*
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: *wakes up, yawns, stretches, sees “3:30” on his phone clock*
Tim: …
Tim: Uh. What are you doing here?
Roy: *bruised, bloodied, in a tattered Arsenal uniform, and perched on the window sill*
Roy: Your brother’s gonna wake up mad at me. When he does, be sure to remind him who his best friend is.
When your legally dead brother’s “low-key” bitter that he wasn’t included in the latest Wayne Family painting…
Tim: Did you just paste your picture over our family portrait?
Jason: Yeah, I think it looks better.
Tim: You pasted it over my face.
Jason: Yeah, I think it looks better.
Jason: You’re going to be okay.
Tim: Am I?
Jason: *shrugs* Yeah, ‘cause you’re, like, ten times more resilient than me, and I’m okay.
Are you though, Jay?
Cue heavy rainfall and dramatic lighting…
Red Hood: You are beyond pathetic, Dick!
Nightwing: Who’s more pathetic? The one who sees hope to make our family whole? Or the coward who can only see the world through his own fear?
Now HUG.
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