When your sleep-deprived brother’s eager to meet his date to the Wayne Foundation gala…
Tam: *walks into the ballroom*
Tim: *clumsily smoothing down his suit* No! She’s here early! How do I look?
Jason: *eyeing Tim’s ruffled hair, bruised cheek, lopsided bowtie, half-untucked dress shirt and muddy patrol boots* It’s better if you didn’t know.
Tag: big brother of the year
When your faux fiancée won’t believe how nosy your siblings can be…
Tim [to Tam]: As soon as we touch, the blinds will open, and three annoying, but lovable, misfits will be staring at us.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And one creepy, but loveable, Batdad will be spying through binoculars from three rooftops away.
Dick: *decides to move on from being Robin and become Nightwing*
Bruce: Is there anything I can say?
Dick: You can give me your word that you’ll be just as hard on my successor as you were on me.
Bruce: You have my word.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Red Hood, upon hearing this anecdote: Why, that little piece of sh–
Batman: The depths of your degeneracy continue to astound me.
Red Hood: Really? Still?
Mornings at the Manor…
Alfred: *decorating pancakes with whipped butter and blueberries*
Dick: *eating cereal while doing a one-armed handstand*
Jason: *throwing bacon bits at Dick’s face*
Tim: *enters the kitchen*
Damian: What’s that smell? *sniffs the room*
Everyone else: *stops to sniff*
Damian: Smells like sweat and anger and shame.
Tim: *with dark rings under his eyes*
Tim: *pours coffee onto the wrong end of his mug*
Tim: *sighs* Yep.
Nightwing: *fidgeting with his suit, stretching the fabric in, um, certain places*
Red Hood: Just suck in your gut.
Nightwing: What gut?
Red Hood: The little pouch where you keep Alfred’s cookies.
Nightwing:
Red Hood:
Nightwing: *pouts and backflips away*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Not cool, Li’l Wing. Not cool.
When your old team meets your new team…
Arsenal: *flying around the safe house on Bizarro’s back*
Artemis: Is that the old friend who almost got you killed a few years ago?
Red Hood: *grinning proudly* Yeah, like six times.
Batman: Jason, where are you going?
Red Hood: To cross a line.
Jason [to Dick, about Bruce]: Don’t you see? He’s feeding you enough truth so it’s easier to swallow the lies!
Jason Tim’s about half a wreck, huh?
Dick: Yeah, so why do you pick on him?
Jason: I… Oh, was that not rhetorical?
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