Tag: big brother of the year

Intimidating Black Mask’s henchman…

*cut scenes of each of Red Hood’s weapons all over his body as he puts his clothes back on*

Henchman: *whimpers*

Red Robin: I think he gets it.

Red Hood: Just film the confessions, Red, don’t editorialize!

Red Hood: *to henchman* Do you get it?

Henchman: Yes! Please!

Red Hood: Because I swear to Batman, I will strip back down and show you all over again –

Henchman: No, I get it, I get it! You have a lotta guns –

Red Hood: And a knife, which I am going to push *mock demo* very slowly into your urethra –

Red Robin: *groans in secondhand embarrassment* Ew.

How Red Robin survives gunshots…

Jason: Timbo, you wear Kevlar every single time we go to Coast City.

Tim: Because every time you shoot me.

Jason: Whoa, whoa, whoa, not every time. Hm, like, three out of four, tops.

Jason: *ruffles Tim’s hair* You big baby.

Undercover mission at a restaurant…

Jason: Let’s go Ti – Thomas, c’mon! Chop, chop.

Tim: You’re the one who dropped it! Why do I have to clean it up?

Jason: Because you’re the garçon de cuisine, which means kitchen boy, whereas I am the sous chef, which means shut your face and mop up the damn yogurt.

Tim: And why do you get to be sous chef?

* Flashback to Jason and Roy eating out in France while staking out a tech criminal during their Red Hood/Arsenal days *

Jason: Because I have fine dining experience!

On a train, in pursuit of some thugs…

Red Hood: You see how their legs broke? That’s because they didn’t use the parachute fall. Which I don’t have time to teach you properly, but –

Spoiler: Why would you want to?

Red Hood: I – because I take pride in my work?

Spoiler: Why would you teach it to me it at all?!

Red Hood: Oh!

Red Hood: We gotta jump off the train.

Breaking into a top secret facility…

Red Hood: *making snarky comments as they sneak past every guard*

Red Robin: Wait, here’s an idea: You talk louder, and maybe they’ll just come to us.

Red Hood: We’d lose the element of surprise, Timbo.

Red Robin: That was sarcasm!

Red Hood: No way, really? Because so was that, just now!

When both your curious brother’s hands go out of commission after opening your “top secret” container…

Red Hood: How ya doin, buddy? Because dry ice is something crazy, like, negative a hundred degrees…

Red Robin: I need you to not talk to me.

Red Hood: I know, and I know you’re in a lot of pain, so just try to relax…

Red Robin: Why are you still talk- Ow!

Red Hood: *pulls out syringe from Tim’s thigh* And say hi to Sister Morphine.

Red Robin: Morphine?! Dammit, I don’t… need… That actually feels waaaay better.

Red Hood: Yeah?

Red Robin: Yeahhhh…

Red Hood: Good, then get up. You’re sitting on the beer.

Upon receiving intel that Jason’s being targeted by a hit squad…

Red Robin: This Gothamite hit squad is no joke. So if I were you, I’d lay low in the safe house for a few days until we work out a plan to neutralize them.

Red Hood: Ohhh! Yeah, okay! The safe house!

Red Robin: I’m sorry, your words made sense, but your sarcastic tone did not.

Red Hood: Because there are no Gothamites. Bruce just wants me out of the way so he can… do unspeakable things with Selina! So nice try, idiot!

Red Robin: I love that I’m the idiot.

a-wayne-at-heart:

Sorting stacks of old case files at the Batcave…

Dick: You know I think we’re making some real progress.

Tim: Where, in opposite world? We’re never gonna finish all this!

Damian: We could if certain people would help. -Tt-

Jason: *standing behind stacks of cardboard boxes* I’m sorry, are you addressing me? Because your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass.

Sorting stacks of old case files at the Batcave…

Dick: You know I think we’re making some real progress.

Tim: Where, in opposite world? We’re never gonna finish all this!

Damian: We could if certain people would help. -Tt-

Jason: *standing behind stacks of cardboard boxes* I’m sorry, are you addressing me? Because your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass.