Tag: big brother of the year

Jason: *walks into Tim’s bedroom* Hey, Timbo –

Jason: *gags and bends over to catch his breath*

Jason: It smells like some vomit took a dump in here.

In which the stench leads Alfred from the kitchen to his location.

When your little brother asks you how to get “street cred”…

Jason [to Damian]: The next thing you’ll want to do is ditch the feline and get yourself a proper canine. Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless.

In which it’s a good thing Red Hood’s got a helmet to hide all the claw-shaped scratches on his face. 

Red Robin: *crouching behind the giant coin in the Batcave*

Nightwing: *walks in*

Red Robin: *to his walkie-talkie* The Hug Machine is here. I repeat, the Hug Machine is here. Smiling on all cylinders.

The rest of the Batfamily: *temporarily stop brooding to find hiding places*  

Dick tends to get in the way of angst and sadness.

At a candy store…

Clerk: Oh, we don’t accept… *carefully examines bill* “Bat-dollars”, sir.

Damian: That is the most powerful piece of paper in the world! Of course you’ll accept it. Accept it.

In which it dawns on Damian that his brothers have been shi**ing him the whole time (and that Jason and Tim better hide – and hide well – if they want to stay alive).