Jason: It sounds like you’re asking me out on a man-date.
Roy: Jay, why are you so afraid of loving me?
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Batman: *announces his engagement to Catwoman at a Justice League meeting*
Green Lantern: *whispering* I’ll put twenty-five dollars on the wedding being cancelled.
Green Arrow: *whispering back* Fifty says it’s cancelled before the sun goes down.
Well, it’s getting closer, boys.
Nightwing [about Batman]: Why are you still antagonizing him?!
Red Hood: *shrugs* I don’t know. I can’t stop.
Family Patrol Night…
Red Robin: *setting up surveillance equipment*
Red Hood: *tapping his foot impatiently*
Red Robin: *hacking into a supervillain’s mainframe computer*
Red Hood: *squirming*
Red Robin: *sighs and shakes his head*
Red Hood: I need to pee.
Red Robin: Don’t you think it’s weird that you’ve already gone seven times today?
Red Hood: I think it’s weird that you’re counting.
Overnight visits at the Manor be like…
Jason: Well, goodnight, Little D.
Damian: Oh, goodnight, Todd. Sleep tight. There’s a bus schedule underneath your pillow.
When your best friend asks you if you’d want to get away from crimefighting in the city for a while and just hang out at his farm…
Superman: So… ?
Batman: *stares off into the distance*
Superman: Um, Bruce… ?
Batman: *breathes in the air like he’s smelling fresh flowers*
Batman: Spending the day far away sounds like a dream, Clark. I love being a father, but there are a few things I miss. Silence. The absence of noise. One single moment undisturbed by my children trying to kill each other.
When your youngest brother wants to show you his appreciation…
Dick: You’re giving us… stickers?
Damian: Not just any sticker. Those are stickers of a kitty saying, “Me-wow!”.
Tim: We’re not preschoolers.
Damian: Fine, I’ll take them all back.
Jason: I earned this! Back off!
Dick and Jason: *watching as Tim downs his fourth cup of coffee, spilling some on his ketchup and mustard-stained shirt, burps loudly, and wipes dried slobber off his face*
Dick: *sighs*
Jason: I love him, but if he’s broken, let’s ask Bruce not to get a new one.
When you’re doing surveillance and bored out of your mind and your little brother’s “lectures” aren’t helping…
Robin: What are you doing now, Todd?
Red Hood: *rolling up a piece of paper* Making a straw.
Robin: Why?
Red Hood: So I can shoot you with a spitball.
Robin: You’re not going to do that, and I’ll tell you why. This is a mission, I am your partner, and you’re going to treat me with the prop – *chokes a bit* You shot your spit in my mouth!
Red Hood: Is this gonna be a long night? Because I don’t think I could do that again.
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *munching on strawberry-flavored Poptarts*
Tim: *staring blankly ahead*
Jason: *waves a hand in front of his brother’s face*
Tim:
Jason: *snaps his fingers*
Tim:
Jason: *tips the big mug of coffee over, spilling its contents*
Tim: *slowly turns his head to face Jason*
Jason: You’re being so quiet. Are you upset or are you just rebooting?
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