Barry: So, what’s Batman’s son like?
Hal: If Hannibal Lecter and Freddy Krueger had a lovechild, that kid would be afraid of Robin.
Hal: And that’s just Tim, you don’t want to know about Damian…
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At Red Hood’s safe house…
Jason: *heaving and clutching at his chest*
Jason, to Damian, who’s clinging to the ceiling like a spider: What have I said about you sneaking up on me? I could’ve been shaving. This could’ve been a Sweeney Todd moment!
Artemis: Look, I’ll tell you something else. I mean, Batman is a text-book, closed-off, alpha male. You can try forever, but you’re never going to get that hug that you really want.
Red Hood: Uh, excuse me, I’m not a child. I’m a grown man.
Red Hood’s Brain: And I’ll get that hug!
As closed-off as he seems, Bruce loves hugging his kids (yes, ‘tis canon). And Jason has gotten and does get his share, even in adulthood. It’s just that they both tend to act as if it’s not a thing they long for from each other.
Dick: Why is your mouth red?
Jason: Duct-taped for two hours in a morgue drawer, don’t piss off the tiny brat, end of story.
When your fiancé would rather be on patrol than go cake tasting…
Selena: Bat, we’re getting married tomorrow! Meow!
Bruce: Hrrrn…
Selena: Why aren’t you excited?
Bruce: Because, Cat, we’ve been here for an hour and you’ve already said it thirteen times.
Selena: But we’re getting married tomorrow!
When your fiancé would rather be on patrol than go cake tasting…
Selena: Bat, we’re getting married tomorrow! Meow!
Bruce: Hrrrn…
Selena: Why aren’t you excited?
Bruce: Because, Cat, we’ve been here for an hour and you’ve already said it thirteen times.
Selena: But we’re getting married tomorrow!
When your tough-as-nails, alpha-male best friend gets antsy…
Clark: *plugging both his ears with his fingers* Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce. I can’t talk right now. I’m at your wedding!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
His super hearing can’t save you know, Bruce. He really wants you to go through with this. Now, stop muttering and finish getting dressed.
Artemis: Look, I’ll tell you something else. I mean, Batman is a text-book, closed-off, alpha male. You can try forever, but you’re never going to get that hug that you really want.
Red Hood: Uh, excuse me, I’m not a child. I’m a grown man.
Red Hood’s Brain: And I’ll get that hug!
Tim: *gesturing to Goliath* Why the giant bat?
Damian: Why the stupid face?
Tim: Touché.
Red Hood: *arrives at his top-secret safe house* Hello, safe hou –
Red Hood:
Tim: *on Jason’s bed, looking like he hasn’t slept for three days straight, still wearing his muddy patrol boots, and typing at 200 words-per-minute on his laptop*
Red Hood: What are you doing?
Tim: Oh, um, I got tired of trying to find my safe house, so I just set up shop here.
Red Hood: Oh. Okay. That’s not weird.
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