Nightwing: Damian, um… The mission that I’m leaving for tomorrow… It’s actually a lot longer than I let on.
Robin: What, Grayson, like three days?
Nightwing: No…
Robin: Four days?
Nightwing: Six months.
Robin: Five days?
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Dropping by your older brother’s Blüdhaven apartment be like…
Red Hood: *withdraws his hand in disgust* Why is there milk-soaked cereal in the silverware drawer?
Dick: Oh, you mean, why is there silverware in the cereal drawer? *winks*
Red Hood:
Red Hood: *takes a photo and texts it to Alfred*
Dropping by your older brother’s Blüdhaven apartment be like…
Red Hood: *withdraws his hand in disgust* Why is there milk-soaked cereal in the silverware drawer?
Dick: Oh, you mean, why is there silverware in the cereal drawer? *winks*
Red Hood:
Red Hood: *takes a photo and texts it to Alfred*
Steph: Last night I told you that I was falling in love with you. And you know what you said?
Tim: “Thank you”?
Steph: You asked me if I wanted to go get pizza.
Tim: No… “Pineapple pizza”.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Or the story of how Red Robin got a black eye.
Jason: Kid, I’m not scared of you. Life’s too good. I’m untouchable.
Damian: *cracks his knuckles* That’s what I hoped you’d say.
When you’re arguing with your best friend, but then remember that there’s a little kid in the safe house with you…
Jason: I’m saying, every time something starts to go well for you, you blow it!
Roy: Nothing has ever gone well for me, and you know that!
Jason: That’s my point, you – *sees Lian*
Jason: … brilliant redhead, you!
Roy: Oh, great. And now you’re mocking me. You selfish fu- *notices Lian*
Roy: … n-loving hero! Hello, baby girl!
Jason: You’re dumb.
Tim: See, now you’re just embarrassing yourself. Pick someone else to annoy.
Jason: I don’t pick ‘em. They pick me.
At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Tim: So how come you don’t have to get all dressed up?
Jason: I am dressed up. You see any holes in these pants?
Giving your brother a tour of your new hometown be like…
Nightwing: This part of Blüdhaven might be very rough, but, Jay, the people here are the best!
Red Hood: *staring at his motorcycle* I’m pretty sure I had wheels when I parked here.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Ha! Serves you right, Jason Todd. Serves you right.
Dick: Listen to me, Damian. Your whole life has led to this moment.
Dick: All the training, the hours of dedication…
Dick: There’s not a soul alive that can touch you…
Dick: … when it comes to Laser Tag. And, Li’l Bro, you know it. *pats Damian’s armor* Look at me. Be you!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
And that is how Dick and Damian impossibly beat the crap out of Jason and Tim.
Sometimes all it takes is a little pep talk from your favorite brother.
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