Interventions at the Manor…
Alfred: *wearing a mask and carrying a vacuum cleaner*
Dick: *putting on gloves*
Jason: *filling a black garbage bag with piles of… What are these, Timbo?*
Damian: *pinching his nose and looking around in pure disgust*
Tim: I want to get rid of my stuff, but all my stuff is really good and I just can’t get rid of it.
Dick: It’s not and you have to.
Jason: Everything you own is trash.
Damian: You’re basically a hoarder, Drake.
Tim: *chugs a mug of coffee and stains his three-day-old shirt further*
Tim: Not true. Everything has meaning. Everything is connected to something else.
Category: Uncategorized
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *following Tim around the kitchen* Lotus Bear Relax! I can smell it on you right now!
Tim: *slapping his hand away* Stop smelling my hair, dude!
Jason: Do you know how much that stuff cost?
Tim: I didn’t use your conditioner, Jay!
Jason: Then why does your hair look so baby soft?!
Alfred: *sighs*
Alfred: *adds “conditioner” to grocery list*
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *following Tim around the kitchen* Lotus Bear Relax! I can smell it on you right now!
Tim: *slapping his hand away* Stop smelling my hair, dude!
Jason: Do you know how much that stuff cost?
Tim: I didn’t use your conditioner, Jay!
Jason: Then why does your hair look so baby soft?!
Alfred: *sighs*
Alfred: *adds “conditioner” to grocery list*
When your sleep-deprived brother’s eager to meet his date to the Wayne Foundation gala…
Tam: *walks into the ballroom*
Tim: *clumsily smoothing down his suit* No! She’s here early! How do I look?
Jason: *eyeing Tim’s ruffled hair, bruised cheek, lopsided bowtie, half-untucked dress shirt and muddy patrol boots* It’s better if you didn’t know.
Inviting your superfriends over for your safe-housewarming…
Arsenal: *talking on the phone* It’s our thing, Dick. Dudesgiving.
Red Hood: *unpacking weapons in the other room* Okay, no matter how many e-mails you send, that’s not real, Roy!
Arsenal: It’s real, man!
Red Hood: It’s not real! We’re not calling it that!
Nightwing: *fidgeting with his suit, stretching the fabric in, um, certain places*
Red Hood: Just suck in your gut.
Nightwing: What gut?
Red Hood: The little pouch where you keep Alfred’s cookies.
Nightwing:
Red Hood:
Nightwing: *pouts and backflips away*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Not cool, Li’l Wing. Not cool.
Family Patrol Night…
Red Robin: *holding Robin by the scruff of the neck* Hey, if you want, you can babysit this brat and I’ll go with Zsasz to the GCPD.
Red Hood: *walking towards the bound and gagged criminal* No. No, thank you. Bring on the ex-con.
Red Hood: *slams the Manor door shut*
Arsenal: So, you finally stood up to your father?
Red Hood: *sighs* Yep.
Arsenal: And he cut you off? No money, no nothing?
Red Hood: *lights a cigarette and takes a drag* Pretty much.
Arsenal: Jerk.
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *whistling while turning on the stove and beating eggs in a bowl*
Red Robin: *comes in through the kitchen window, bruised, tattered, and dripping blood*
Red Robin: Jay! I lost Damian! What am I going to do?!
Jason: Uhhhh. Don’t worry. Don’t worry. *looks around the kitchen in panic* Know what I’m going to do? I’m going to make you an omelet.
Red Robin: Just help me look for him!
Jason: Are you sure? I make ‘em with four kinds of cheese.
When your youngest brother’s best friend comes by to visit the Manor…
Jon: *checking out the Red Hood helmet with his X-ray vision* Jason, you are the coolest adult ever!
Jason: Wow. I’ve never been called an adult before, but I’ve been tried as one.
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