Nightwing: You know, I really think we should try a non-violent approach to resolve this.
Red Hood: I agree, except replace the word “non” with “extremely”, and after the word “violent”, include the phrase "blood explosion extraordinaire"!
Aqualad: Look, instead of just running straight into enemy gunfire like we usually do, why don’t we try some reconnaissance this time?
Kid Flash: You mean like spy stuff? That would be cool! I could wear a spy tuxedo –
Robin: *facepalms* No.
Kid Flash: With a hidden spy camera –
Speedy: Dude.
Kid Flash: Inside a tiny spy bowtie –
Miss Martian: Wally…
Kid Flash: Or, I could wear a flower on my lapel –
Superboy: We said no.
Kid Flash: That sprays water in people’s faces, oh man –
Artemis: Shut up, West.
Trying to get your brother to make healthier choices be like…
Nightwing: *laying the blueprint for a warehouse across the street on the rooftop deck*
Red Robin: *setting up surveillance equipment*
Robin: *adjusting Goliath’s leash*
Red Hood: *coughs*
Red Robin: Wait a second, are you smoking inside of your helment again?
Red Hood: What? No.
Red Hood: *tries to stifle another cough as smoke comes out of the vents in his helmet* Oops.
Nightwing: *locating Alfred on his communicator* I knew this would happen. And how many snack cakes have you had today?
Red Hood: None.
Nightwing, Red Robin and Robin: *glare at him*
Red Hood: Okay, five… or more. Baker’s dozen at most.
Robin: Do you even know how many there are in a baker’s dozen, Todd?
Red Hood: By my count? Forty-eight.
Dick: *leaning over the sofa in the Wayne Manor library* Wow, Little Wing, you were asleep for a long time. What were you dreaming about?
Jason: *yawning and stretching, swiftly catching the novel that falls from his chest as he gets up* Nothing. I don’t like to dream. I try not to think while I’m sleeping.
Damian: *not looking up from the novel he’s reading at the other side of the room* That’s pretty much how you function while you’re awake, too.
Post-mission debriefing…
Batman: *listening*
Nightwing: At first, it didn’t seem physically possible.
Red Robin: But modern-day technology makes anything possible. It was as easy as Shake-‘N-Bake!
Red Hood: *wiggles eyebrows* And I helped.
Robin: Actually, Todd, I don’t really know if snickering in the corner all night like a prepubescent monkey actually qualifies as help, but it sure was entertaining.
Beast Boy:(meeting Jason todd) Wait your Robin too? How many robins are there?
Batman:
You know what the other great part about this is? This was a Titans meeting and Batman had probably been lurking in that room for hours before they even walked in.
Hmm. Some tagging difficulty on mobile. But it’d be great if you could check out a recent post of mine. *wink wink*
Red Hood: Look, I don’t know who this “Jason” you’re talking about is, but it’s not me, alright? There must be, like, a billion Jasons in Gotham alone, so you’re clearly mistaken –
Alfred [on the Comm Link]: Master Jason, this chocolate bouquet on your bed addressed to *sound of a greeting card flipping open* @abundanceofopals, shall I wipe the bloodstains off of it or –
Red Hood: *shuts the Comm Link and sheepishly rubs the back of his neck* Uhhh.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
He’s blushing so hard that he’s as red as the mask covering his face, trust me. Thank you so much, @abundanceofopals! You have a nice day, too!
Red Hood: Hey, @shywritersblogsworld , you know what else gives you life? The Lazaru–
Robin: *shoves Jason out of the way* Lame! Try using a Chaos Sha–
Red Robin: Well, there’s also teleporting.
Red Hood and Robin: *slowly turn their heads towards Tim and glare at him*
Red Hood: You did not just say what I thought you said.
Robin: That. Doesn’t. Count. Drake.
Red Robin: But I –
Red Hood: Didn’t actually die!
Robin: *fist-bumps Jason* Thank you, Todd!
Red Robin: I just cannot catch a break with you guys!
Nightwing: *listening to his younger brothers bickering* You know what? I’m not even gonna… Let’s just get out of here. *puts an arm around @shywritersblogsworld and leads them out of the room*
Duke: *listening to the birds chirping, the breeze blowing, the grass being mowed by Alfred… *
Duke: *looks around the kitchen suspiciously*
Duke: It’s quiet. Too quiet.
Duke:
Dune: *narrowly misses a birdarang, which hits and breaks a ketchup bottle, and hears two sets of footsteps – one lithe, the other heavy – barreling down the stairs and familiar voices yelling insults at each other*
Duke:
Duke: *gets up, grabs his stuff, and looks up the nearest Big Belly Burger on Waze* Suddenly it’s too loud. I preferred it when it was quiet.
Jason: *turns his seat to face @rayanyamor*And you felt the need to point it out because…?
Alfred: *conficates Jason’s Pop-Tarts and starts passing out plates of blueberry waffles to everyone at the table* Young masters, I implore you to let our guest have breakfast in peace.
Jason: Alf, wha–
Tim: *pops coffee beans into his mouth* But it’s a legit question, though.
Damian: *climbs on top of the kitchen table and brings his face so close to @rayanyamor’s that they’re practically nose-to-nose* What makes you so sure that we weren’t referring to another Robin?
Dick: *walks into the kitchen already eating from a cereal box* Good morning, family! What’re we talking about now? And where’s Dune?
Me: *drags my hand down my face in anguish* It was a typo. A typo.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 