Dick: When are you gonna take time to be a kid?
Damian: In my mid-20’s, like you.
Dick: I’d ask Bruce to ground you for that, but then I wouldn’t have anyone to play with.
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Detective comics #715
The Batfamily’s version of love. ❤
(Obviously Bruce knows Alfred’s up to something. And Alfred knows that Bruce knows. This is time-tested, experience-hardened trust.)
Imagine: Bruce trolling Jason during an undercover mission.
Mission on a remote island…
Red Robin: *cutting through jungle foliage with his bo staff* Brat, who are you talking to – Oh, #*$@!!!
Alien: BLARG!
Robin: *standing in front of the nine-foot-tall, Predator-looking creature, ready to defend it* Stop! He is my friend! He’s not going to eat anybody!
Red Hood: *yelling from behind a bush* Yeah! Says you stink too much to eat!
Nightwing: Are you ready to take one for the family?
Red Hood: I’ve already made myself absolutely clear that I’m not a part of this family.
Red Hood: … But fine.
And the “Big Brother of the Year” Award goes to…
Jason: *reading the newspaper*
Damian: *slams his suitcase on the kitchen counter*
Damian [about Gotham Academy]: I can’t believe I have to start another year at school. I never learned anything at that suck shack.
Jason: Hey! Who taught you language like that?
Damian: A kid at school.
Jason: So you did learn something.
Jason: How many times must I say I’m sorry?
Tim: You haven’t said you’re sorry.
Jason: I know. I was hoping the number would be zero.
When you humor your 13-year-old League of Assassins-raised brother at his second chance at childhood…
Damian: *pretends to pour tea for Alfred the Cat, Batcow, Jerry the Turkey, Goliath, and Jason*
Jason: *facepalms* I don’t know why I agreed to this.
Damian: *glares* Because you like the taste of my imaginary tea.
Jason: Oh, you’re right. *“sips”*
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: *wakes up, yawns, stretches, sees “3:30” on his phone clock*
Tim: …
Tim: Uh. What are you doing here?
Roy: *bruised, bloodied, in a tattered Arsenal uniform, and perched on the window sill*
Roy: Your brother’s gonna wake up mad at me. When he does, be sure to remind him who his best friend is.
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