Running a few errands before meeting up with his brothers on Family Patrol Night…
Red Hood: *slaps $1000 on the counter* I need an Advil, a roll of duct tape, a pack of peanuts, and four beers.
Store clerk: *blinks*
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When your younger brother’s the CEO of a multibillion-dollar company…
Jason: Timbo, I need 75 bucks for the new Arkham Knight game.
Tim: *deadpan stare*
Tim: 75 bucks for a video game?
Jason: Yes. See it as an investment.
Tim: *narrowed eyes* An investment?
Jason: Yes. See it this way: If I become a villain with “daddy issues” in another universe, I’ll already know how to do it properly.
Jason: Did I tell you I got pepper-sprayed today?
Tim: You say that like it’s a good thing.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And that was just for entering Damian’s room.
When your best friend wants to officially introduce your team of outlaws to Batman…
Arsenal: I’d rather not be the cause of further estrangement between you and your dad, Dude.
Red Hood: To be fair, my “dad” was already “estrange” before you met him. *finger-guns*
Batman: I just have to calm down and figure this out.
Superman: …
Superman: On your own? While you’re bleeding to death?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
He’s a big boy, Clark.
Security alarm at the Titans Tower: INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!
Impulse: *runs out of the conference room*
Impulse: *runs back into the conference room half a second later*
Impulse: *panting* I saw a freaky, terrifying man!
Robin: *not looking up from what he’s reading* That’s just Batman.
Imagine: Bruce trying to be a “cool dad”.
Bruce: It’s tough love.
Dick: You do know that there are other kinds, right?
Getting stranded up in the Himalayan Mountains while on a mission be like…
Red Robin: Look, I’m sure we’re not the only ones who need to be rescued. Plus, things could be a lot worse.
Red Hood: Yeah, how’s that?
Red Robin: We could be stuck here with Damian.
Roy: You know, you still owe me that fifty bucks.
Jason: *gestures to Bruce* Talk to my dad, bro.
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