Batman: So, we can narrow our suspects down to rich men with good taste.
Superman: Are you saying you’re a suspect?
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“Batman v Superman”, a summary…
Batman: I thought you were the bad guy.
Superman: If I were the bad guy, you would be dead by now.
The Flash: *holding an ancient artifact* If it isn’t the Horn of Truth.
Green Lantern: What are you talking about? You were gone for, like, two seconds. Where did you look?
The Flash: *shrugs* Everywhere.
Sometimes your best friend just needs to hear it from you…
Batman: *typing on the Batcomputer*
Superman: *whooshes into the Batcave* Oh, Bruce, I feel so foolish.
Batman: *reading casefiles* No.
Superman: Yes. I’m foolish and I’m funny and I’m needy. Am I needy?
Batman: *shuts down the Batcomputer* No.
Superman: Are you sure I’m not needy? ‘Cause I feel needy sometimes.
Batman: No. *walks out of the Batcave*
Jason Tim’s about half a wreck, huh?
Dick: Yeah, so why do you pick on him?
Jason: I… Oh, was that not rhetorical?
That one time – one time – Bruce tried this thing call “chilling out”…
Superman: This just… isn’t you.
Batman: It’s me now. It’s the me that can recline.
Batman: *leans back and falls off the Batcomputer chair*
Superman: *trying to keep a straight face* Did that hurt?
Batman: Hrrn.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Only his ego, Clark. Only his ego.
That one time – one time – Bruce and Talia tried to co-parent Damian…
Bruce: Well, I think stress is what leads to trouble. You know, the kind you put on Damian, even when he gets an A?
Talia: Minus. And an A gets him an extra hour of sleep. He knows that.
Finding out that their teenaged brother tried smoking a cigarette…
Dick [about Tim]: He’s lying to me! Can you believe that? Where is this family’s morality?
Jason: I don’t know.
Jason: *a puff of smoke suddenly escapes his mouth*
Dick: What’s that?
Jason: It’s cold out here.
Tim [about Bruce]: He’s our dad. I don’t want to disappoint him.
Jason: You and I are so different. It’s like we’re not even related.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: I’m going to speak very carefully in case he’s with you.
Red Robin: You’re right.
Red Hood: Right about what? He’s there? What’s going on? Who’s with you? If it’s Bruce, say “nobody”.
Red Robin: Nobody.
Red Hood: Well, now I don’t know what’s going on!
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