Batman: *typing away on the Watchtower’s mainframe computer while rest of the Justice League excitedly pack for their annual team building trip*
Green Lantern [to The Flash]: I can’t even picture Bats on vacation. I bet he doesn’t even own shorts.
See, playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne goes on vacation all the time. Reclusive vigilante Batman? Not so much.
Mobster: *tied up and cursing at Red Hood in Russian*
Red Hood: You have some mouth on you.
Mobster: You speak Russian?
Red Hood: *cracks his knuckles*
Red Hood: Just the swear words.
Though, canonically (see “Red Hood: The Lost Days”), Jason can.
When you start dating this intriguing and mysterious person and ask when you can meet their family…
Member of the Batfamily: You’ll meet my family when I want to punish or torture you.
Random Things Timothy Drake Says When He Bumps Into You at the Manor No. 63…
Tim: If you ever cared about me at all, you’d find me some coffee.
Bruce and Dick: *arguing in the Batcave*
Tim [to Alfred]: Is it weird that I find the sound of their bickering comforting?
Because bickering means on speaking terms, safe for now, still alive.
Dick: Jay, I’ve got something I want to run by you. Something personal –
Jason: I say go for it, brother. Shave that back.
Romantic road trip in the Batmobile…
Selina [to Bruce]: Why drive this chick magnet when you’ve already found the woman of your dreams?
Reporting to Batman after patrol…
Batman: *glaring*
Red Hood: *making popping noises with his mouth*
Batman: *GLARING*
Red Hood: Hey, nobody exploded. For me, that’s a pretty good night.
Tim: I’m fine. Really.
Conner: How many times have you said that today?
Tim: *sighs* A hundred.
Red Hood: We make a good team, you and me.
Batgirl: What are you saying?
Red Hood: Just what I said. What do you mean?
Batgirl:
Batgirl: Nothing.
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