chocoh0lic0201

Damian: Drake, what’s your middle name?

Tim: “Danger”.

Dick: Something with a ‘J’…

Jason: It’s “Jackson”. Wow, I’m so sad I know that.

Holidays at the Manor…

Red Hood: I got myself in Secret Santa. I was supposed to tell somebody… but I didn’t.

Nightwing: Can I ask you a question?

Oracle: No.

Nightwing: This is a business question. It’s nothing personal. I promise.

Oracle: Fine.

Nightwing: Are you wearing new perfume today?

Oracle: How is that a business question?

Nightwing: Well, you’re wearing it at the Batcave. And, it’s… I’m sorry, no offense, but it’s really sexy.

Oracle: Please don’t smell me, Dick.

Tim [to the rest of the Batfamily, about Conner]: My best friend wants to meet everybody. Because I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Damian up. He’s a very real pain in my neck.

You know how it’s canon that Damian can move his innards at will? Well…

Jason: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.

Damian: Why would you want to raise your cholesterol, Todd?

Jason: So I can lower it.

Jay, you’re either calling out your little brother’s B.S. or that’s a legitimate Lazarus Pit thing.

Downtime at the safe house…

Roy: Did you get your tickets?

Jason: To what?

Roy: *kisses own biceps* The gun show.

Mr. Harper, I see your biceps and raise you Jason’s hams and quads.

Red Hood [to the rest of the Batfamily]: So, maybe I’m not the good guy in your eyes, but I might end up being the guy who saves all your asses.

Red Hood: So, maybe I’m not the good guy in your eyes, but I might end up being the guy who saves all your asses.

Batman: I don’t remember asking for –

Superman: Bruce, please shut up and let me save your life.

And the “Big Brother of the Year” Award goes to…

Jason: *whistling on the way to the kitchen*

Jason: *passes by Tim and Damian’s shared bedroom*

Jason:

Tim:

*twirls his bo staff*

I’m looking forward to crushing that little, adorable baby face of yours!

Damian: *brandishes his katana* You can try, Drake!

Tim and Damian: *charge at each other* RAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!!!

Jason:

Jason: *shrugs*

Jason: *whistling on the way to the kitchen*