Author: chocoh0lic0201

Red Hood: *cracks his knuckles*

Robin: *sneers*

Criminal [to his men]: Keep your distance, mates. The little one knows karate and the big one fights dirty.

Correction, mates. They both know karate and they both fight dirty.

Because it’s canon that Batman keeps journals (and that he’s deeply in love)…

Clark: The part where you and Selina met. It’s right out of a twisted, vigilante rom-com.

Bruce: Yes. I believe they call it a “meet cute”. 

Riding the Batmobile for the first time be like…

Tim [to Bruce]: *wiping vomit off his mouth* There are two things on this Earth that I’m thankful for right now: that you cannot read my mind and this seat belt right here. 

Lip-reading your adoptive father’s phone conversations with colleagues be like…

Nightwing: Bruce’s mouth hasn’t moved in three and a half minutes.

Red Hood: *shrugs* Maybe Hal’s got him on hold.

Red Robin: No, no. His nostrils are flaring, he’s pacing like a maniac, and he just switched his phone from his right hand to his left hand like he wants to punch someone.

Very few beings in the Multiverse can make Batman lose his cool like a Green Lantern can.   

Red Hood: You know what it’s going to say on my next tombstone?

Arsenal: Yes, I do. It’s going to say, “Here lies Jason Peter Todd, Beloved Curmudgeon”.

Red Hood: No. It will say "Here lies Jason Peter Todd. We think. We’re not really sure because we couldn’t find all of him”.

Red Hood: Just so I’m clear, Roy…

Red Hood: You want to drive a truck with a dirty bomb made out of uranium and TNTP, which you personally told me is the most unstable explosive on the planet, through this jungle on, to say the least, uneven terrain. That’s what you’ve come up with?

Arsenal: We’re going to drive real slow.

Red Hood:

Red Hood: I’ll find the keys.

Meeting your new (and quite unexpected) teammates for the first time be like…

Green Lantern: Red Hood? That’s an interesting name.

Wonder Girl: That’s the least interesting thing about him, Kyle.

Oh, you have noooo idea.