Things not to say when a ten-year-old assassin’s pissed off and ranting about Red Robin…
Nightwing: You’re so cute with your angry little fists! I just want to put you in my suit pocket!
Author: chocoh0lic0201
Batman: Don’t take this the wrong way, Jordan, but I have almost no faith in you.
Yup, don’t take it any other way, especially not in a Bats-is-trying-to-soften-the-blow kind of way. Just take it as it is.
Dick: Listen to me, Damian. Your whole life has led to this moment.
Dick: All the training, the hours of dedication…
Dick: There’s not a soul alive that can touch you…
Dick: … when it comes to Laser Tag. And, Li’l Bro, you know it. *pats Damian’s armor* Look at me. Be you!
—
And that is how Dick and Damian beat the crap out of Jason and Tim.
And why you never underestimate Dick’s pep talks or Damian’s loyalty to him.
When your little brother obsessively washes his mouth out after accidentally using your toothbrush…
Jason: You’re worried about germs? I’ve seen you kiss your cow on the mouth.
Bruce: I guess I’m too proud to ask for help.
Dick: Are you kidding? Alfred still cuts your steak.
It’s actually more like: Alfred would do anything to get his Justice-obsessed son to eat.
Dick: *putting on his Robin uniform*
Bruce: *glaring*
Dick: Uh, I have patrol with Superman tonight.
Dick: *adjusting his domino mask* You promised I could go if I got a B on my test. I studied, I read stuff. What was the point of all that?
Now, Jason as Robin? Quite a different story.
Dick: Listen to me, Damian. Your whole life has led to this moment.
Dick: All the training, the hours of dedication…
Dick: There’s not a soul alive that can touch you…
Dick: … when it comes to Laser Tag. And, Li’l Bro, you know it. *pats Damian’s armor* Look at me. Be you!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
And that is how Dick and Damian impossibly beat the crap out of Jason and Tim.
Batman: Tired of walking in those heels?
Catwoman: No. Tired of having a hot fianceé?
Damian: Kent, Kent! Was that the alarm? Has our perimeter been breached?
What the heck kind of “tree house” do you two boys have?
Superman: Look, we’re not here to play Good Cop/Batman.
Batman: Hrrn. *cracks knuckles*
Criminal: *gulps*
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 