A “cook-in” at your best friend’s apartment be like…
Wally: I got the steak from the freezer. *slams a package onto the kitchen counter*
Dick: Why do you have chocolate on your face?
Wally: It was under a chocolate pie.
Dick: So you ate your way through it?
Wally: I made a judgment call. You weren’t there.
Damian: Todd, let it go. I’m faster than you.
Jason: If only there were some way we could settle this once and for all, but how?
Damian: You seriously want to race me? I won the Gotham City Half-Marathon last year!
Jason: Okay, I’m half-scared.
Damian:
Damian: Okay, we do need to do this. I’ll go change.
It’s a trap, Little D.
When you’re all kind of “co-parenting” your youngest brother…
Dick: Damian needs to know that we believe in him. It’s the most important thing. If you tell children they have wings, they will believe they can fly.
Jason: Oh, really? I had a buddy that went to Gothamfest, believed he could fly, didn’t end great. That’s why hotels’ windows don’t open anymore.
And by “buddy”, he meant a drunken Roy.
Jason: Did you know that fencing goes back to the twelfth century?
Damian: Fencing? Pfft. Do you know what’s even nerdier than fencing? Knowing when it began.
Tim: I don’t think you’re a nerd, Jay –
Jason and Damian: Shut up, dork!
Jason [to Dick]: I’m fairly confident that one of Bruce’s proudest moment was when you finally took off the scaly, green leotard.
Planning a surprise birthday party for your youngest (kiddie-party-deprived) brother be like…
Dick: Um, Jason’s not much of a clown fan…
Duke: Has he ever seen a good one?
Jason: *from three rooms away* HAS ANYONE???
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Duke, sweetie, it’s a, um… *clears throat* sensitive topic.
When your wife knows that you’re not being sarcastic…
Barry [to Iris]: Let me know if you run low on supplies. I’ll take a quick trip to the 1950s for you.
At a “field trip” to S.T.A.R. Labs…
Jason: *poking at the reptilian creature on his head* This feels so weird. What does it eat?
Scientist: Oh, just human brains.
Damian: Well, at least Todd has nothing to worry about.
Robin training with the original Boy Wonder…
Standing atop a gargoyle fifty stories from the ground…
Dick: Tim, buddy, you have nothing to fear but fear itself…
Dick: And the concrete. *dives*
Richard Grayson, you d… 0_0
Post-patrol Movie Night at the Manor…
Now Showing: “Under the Red Hood” (2010)
Red Robin: Are you… crying?
Red Hood: *vigorously wiping away his tears using Tim’s cape* What are you, a robot? It’s a deeply emotional movie!
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Oh, sorry, did it say “movie”? I meant family home video.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 