When you catch your wife reporting the news back on earth via the Watchtower satellite feed…

The Flash: Linda’s so hot.

Batman: Yes. She’s in Afghanistan. The temperature is frequently over a hundred degrees.

Red Robin: Jason, what are you doing here?

Red Hood: What are you doing here?

Red Robin: I don’t know. Following you to a bad part of town and saving your life. You know, the usual. Your turn.

Nightwing: Sometimes, when I don’t have any clean underwear, I go commando.

And that explains why Supergirl gets super red in the face during missions (and why his uniform’s so seamless).

Superman: Bruce, you are the only person in the Watchtower allowed to be raggedly honest because I know I can’t stop you.

Reporter: Are you ready to represent the human race?

Superman: Always.

my incorrect #hashtags (so far…)

batman in love – Bruce, Selina, and their sappy, unconventional relationship
big brother of the year – mostly Jason being both the best and the worst older brother
family patrol nights – because they are as dorky as they are bad-ass
grumpy old kid – because Damian
hug monster – just Dick doing what he does best
mornings at the manor – the sitcom of my dreams

incorrect batfamily quotes

incorrect flash family quotes

incorrect justice league quotes

incorrect rhato quotes

incorrect super sons quotes

When your youngest brother shows up out of nowhere and your friends wonder where he came from…

Red Hood: The kid was raised by wolves. Until he killed them and ate them all.

Robin: *hisses*

On speaker phone with The Flash and about to discuss the scientific details of a case…

Batman: This is Batman.

Green Lantern: *yelling from across the Batcave while checking out the Batjet* And Hal, so speak English!

Arsenal: Word of advice: Do not mention Jason to Jason or he will shoot you.

Batman: You are not giving birth here, Selina.

Catwoman: Why not? A prison is an accredited health facility. That’s what you want!