chocoh0lic0201

Barry: I don’t know how you did it.

Iris: What?

Barry: Kept it together during those two months that I was missing. Two days I didn’t know where you were and it nearly killed me.

Conner: Wait, you signed up to go to Mars? When?

Tim: A couple of years ago.

Conner: Where was I?

Tim: *shrugs* We were fighting.

… and the resulting lack of sleep led to some very interesting decisions.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Damian: You are the worst vacation-taker in the world!

Damian: *stomps up the stairs, goes to his bedroom, and slams the door shut*

Bruce:

Alfred:

Bruce: *shrugs*

Alfred: *sighs, shakes his head, and walks away*

So your father left a realistic blow-up version of himself inside the tent then went off-planet to respond to a Justice League S.O.S. while you roasted marshmallows and waited six hours for him to come out and regale you with stories of his early vigilante days by a campfire…

He still loves you, kid.

When a highly dangerous supervillain’s in town and your overprotective adoptive father orders you to “stay out of it”…

Nightwing: *noiselessly drops down from the ceiling in the middle of a heavily guarded warehouse*

Batman: *bruised, bloodied, bound to a metal contraption and on the verge of losing consciousness* D-Dick, what are you –

Nightwing: *disables the handcuffs* If you wanted a binding agreement, we should have pinky-sweared.

Batman: Dick, do you have any idea how worried I was?

Nightwing: Yeah, I do. I was gone for thirty-six hours. A year ago, you were gone for eight weeks.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Yeah, Bruce.

When you find out that your adoptive father’s been keeping a secret from you…

Batman: I didn’t do this to hurt you. I did it to protect you.

Nightwing: Then why am I so angry?

When your sleep-deprived, teenaged brother won’t come out of his room for three days straight…

Jason: *flips the light open*

Tim: *hisses*

Jason: You’re indoors and it’s dark. Take off the sunglasses. You look stupid.

Mornings at the Manor…

Jason: *munching*

Damian: *munching*

Jason: *stops munching*

Jason: *stares at Damian*

Damian: *stops munching*

Damian: *frowns*

Jason: Do you always eat kale for breakfast? Because that is just wrong.

Damian: -Tt-

Batman: *turning on the Comm Link* Di –

Nightwing: *dropping down from the ceiling* Here I am, roguishly handsome and at your service. What do you need?

When your adoptive father and eldest brother question how you and Red Robin caused 5-million-dollars-worth of property damage on a simple recon mission…

Red Hood: Because we’re awesome and you two suck. Next question.