When you’re weary from patrol and craving for some shut-eye only to find intruders in your safe house…
Red Hood: …
Nightwing: *rummaging through the cabinets*
Red Robin: *installing security cameras in the living room*
Robin: *examining the samurai swords hanging on the wall*
Red Hood: I gave you my passcode for emergencies.
Robin:
Red Robin:
Nightwing: We were out of Doritos.
At the Justice League beach trip…
Bruce: *setting up miniature surveillance equipment and burying them in the sand*
Clark: *rolls eyes* Tell me you know how to swim.
Bruce: I know how to swim, Clark. I swim for survival, not for fun.
Batman [Terry]: *sees a pile of unconscious thugs* I thought I told you to stay put!
Bruce: *holding a broken cane* Hn. I’m an old man. I don’t always hear so well.
When you overstay your welcome at Red Hood’s safe house…
Jason: *hopping over mounds of bloody patrol suits and broken weapons while picking up dirty dishes*
Tim and Damian: *playing Injustice 2 on Xbox while yelling threats at each other*
Dick: *pouring milk on his cereal and spilling some on the carpet*
Jason: I don’t know when I became a dad to three lazy teenagers, but it stops today. You guys are cleaning this place up, top to bottom!
Dick: Hey, we don’t even live here!
Jason: Yes or no, do you have clothes in my laundry right now?
When you overstay your welcome at Red Hood’s safe house…
Jason: *hopping over mounds of bloody patrol suits and broken weapons while picking up dirty dishes*
Tim and Damian: *playing Injustice 2 on Xbox while yelling threats at each other*
Dick: *pouring milk on his cereal and spilling some on the carpet*
Jason: I don’t know when I became a dad to three lazy teenagers, but it stops today. You guys are cleaning this place up, top to bottom!
Dick: Hey, we don’t even live here!
Jason: Yes or no, do you have clothes in my laundry right now?
When you show up at the Batcave unannounced after having been “estranged” from your adoptive father for a while…
Nightwing:
Batman:
Nightwing:
Batman: *goes back to typing on the Batcomputer*
Nightwing: Good! Let bygones be bygones. Maybe you want to hug it out or bump fists?
Batman: No. Let’s just work on the case.
Jason: Why do you dress like that?
Dick: It’s my style.
Jason: It’s not a style, it’s a bad habit.
Batman: Research is my super power.
Jason [to the bartender]: Can I get a strawberry daiquiri?
Dick: *spits out his beer* Did you say “strawberry daiquiri”?
Jason: I am comfortable in my manhood, brother.
Dick: Oh, yes, you are. Deep dish pizzas, strawberry daiquiris. You like the finer things in life.
Criminal: *in handcuffs* Batman psychologically scarred me for life!
Commissioner Gordon: *takes a drag* He has that effect on some people.
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