Dick: *watching as Wally devours a five-course meal*
Dick: *ducking as scraps of food fly towards him* Breathe and eat –
Wally: *not letting up*
Dick: – separately!
Tag: wally west
Aqualad: Look, instead of just running straight into enemy gunfire like we usually do, why don’t we try some reconnaissance this time?
Kid Flash: You mean like spy stuff? That would be cool! I could wear a spy tuxedo –
Robin: *facepalms* No.
Kid Flash: With a hidden spy camera –
Speedy: Dude.
Kid Flash: Inside a tiny spy bowtie –
Miss Martian: Wally…
Kid Flash: Or, I could wear a flower on my lapel –
Superboy: We said no.
Kid Flash: That sprays water in people’s faces, oh man –
Artemis: Shut up, West.
When you catch your wife reporting the news back on earth via the Watchtower satellite feed…
The Flash: Linda’s so hot.
Batman: Yes. She’s in Afghanistan. The temperature is frequently over a hundred degrees.
Batman: *walks into the Hall of Justice*
Green Lantern (Kyle) to The Flash (Wally): I am equal parts scared and fascinated.
Dick: Enjoying Damian’s cruelty-free vegan seafood buffet?
Wally: It’s pretty good once you get over how allergic I am to soy.
Dick: What?! Oh my gosh! Don’t eat that! *tries to grab the food*
Wally: *pushes back* Hey! I’m a consenting adult!
Speed Force training be like…
Barry: Alright, we’re here, boys! Get ready! Your exit’s comin’ up, Wally!
Wally: Where? I don’t see it.
Bart: There! I see it! I see it!
Wally: You mean the swirling vortex of terror?
Bart: That’s it, dude!
Beast Boy: What was I supposed to do? Psychically predict that we’d be on lockdown?
Kid Flash: I swear, Gar, if we run out of food, I am eating you first!
A “cook-in” at your best friend’s apartment be like…
Wally: I got the steak from the freezer. *slams a package onto the kitchen counter*
Dick: Why do you have chocolate on your face?
Wally: It was under a chocolate pie.
Dick: So you ate your way through it?
Wally: I made a judgment call. You weren’t there.
Aqualad: And he likes Nightwing because… ?
Kid Flash: Because who wouldn’t?
Robin: *chatters on loudly about the Batcave’s history to Aqualad*
Superboy: *lifts and examines the giant coin*
Kid Flash: *zooms in and out of every room in the Manor (especially the kitchen)*
Batman: *tries to do work on the Batcomputer*
Batman: Hrrrn.
Batman: *contacts the rest of the Justice League at the Watchtower*
Batman: How did I get elected Supernanny?
Justice League: *burst out laughing*
You’re a natural, Batdad.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 