Tag: wally west

At the 90’s “Justice League Awards”…

Flash: To Superman’s mullet, “Flyest Hairstyle”!

* Mixture of applause and groans *

Flash: And Nightwing’s ponytail gets the badge for “Second Flyest Hairstyle"!

Nightwing: Oh. I wasn’t competing for that.

Flash: I’ll say!

Plastic Man: Why won’t any women talk to me?

Big Barda: Because you’re slimy and you turn everything into a double entendre.

Plastic Man: I do not.

* Big Barda leaves. Plastic Man stares at Flash. *

Flash: *sighs* Go ahead.

Plastic Man: I’d like to double her entendre.

Dick [about Shawn]: I figured after patrol, I’d pick up a bottle of wine, go over there, and try to… woo her.

Wally: Hey, you know what you should do? Take her back to the 1800’s, when that phrase was last used.

Before Wally and Linda got married…

Linda: I love you, Wally.

Wally: I love… cake.

* A few arguments later *

Wally: Linda, it’s just that, if I say it, and then we break up, what would I tell myself?

Linda: You could tell yourself you still have cake. We both know how much it means to you.

Wally: Okay. I deserve that.

Dick: Hey, this is a kind of a weird request, but would you maybe mind chewing your energy bars with your mouth closed?

Wally: I can’t, and I’m excited to tell you why! I have a new eating method. I realized that open mouths oxygenate the food, so it’s kind of like wine tasting.

Dick: And I hear you, buddy. I really do. It’s just, it’s pretty gross. So maybe just while we’re together, you could keep the old chewer shut?

Dick: Beast Boy, I need you to help Cyborg. Don’t worry about Kid Flash. He’ll be fine. I once saw him fall down three flights of stairs, get up, and keep eating his hot dog, like nothing happened.

Garfield: You’re right. He’s the strongest man we know.

Dick: No.