Alfred: *walks into the Batcave with a tray of cookies*
Alfred: *watches as a thick, sticky, white substance drops from the ceiling and onto the tray*
Alfred: *sighs deeply* Is this absolutely necessary, Master Bruce?
Batman: *yelling from the ground floor while making a few adjustments to a vehicle* I thought it would brighten the cave up.
Alfred: *looks up at crevices on the ceiling* And where, may I ask, did you find this many of them?
Batman:
Batman: Uh –
Alfred: *throws the guano-contaminated cookies into a trash bin* MASTER DAMIAN. *speed-walks out of the cave*
Nightwing: *getting off his motorcycle after it screeches to a halt* He is not gonna wanna see that room. *looks up* I like what you’ve done with the place. The yellow against all the black? *kisses his fingertips* Magnificent.
Batman: *grins* @fleetof-fandoms’ idea. You’ll have to send them a package for me.
Nightwing: Yeaaaah… I don’t think a bumblebee-colored Batmobile qualifies as a package-package, but sure, I’ll drive it over.
DC Universe’s Got Talent (America’s Got Talent), as host, contestant, and eventual winner – because judges from the Fifth Dimension could no longer stand watching a human with such inhuman flexibility
Gothamite Ninja Warrior (American Ninja Warrior), where it’s usually just Cass and him battling it out for the top spot and the “obstacle course” includes parkouring to the top of crumbling gargoyles and jumping off twenty-story buildings sans parachute
Jason
Alfred & J’s Potluck Dinner(Martha & Snoop’s Potluck Dinner), where Alfred’s “Martha” and he’s “Snoop” and they host get-togethers for heroes and villains in the Manor kitchen
Hoodvs. Lair (Man vs. Wild), but instead of surviving in the wild, he’s trying to get past security in a new supervillain’s hideout week after week (guest-starring Roy)
Tim
BatFuzz Unsolved (BuzzFeed Unsolved), where he discusses controversial cases, such as the mysterious zombie-turned-vigilante wearing a red helmet, with his best bud and resident skeptic, Conner
Myth Boosters (Myth Busters), where he dispels/proves popular theories using the latest and most expensive Wayne Tech gadgets (and Bruce is a mere centimeter away from buying the TV network just to cancel this show)
Damian
Gotham’s Dumbest Videos(America’s Funniest Videos), which features clips of his siblings’ blunders during patrol (and him cackling in the background after he introduces each one)
Crikey! It’s the Irwins, and he’s actually with the Irwins (until his father reminds him to “Get. Back. To. Your Earth. Now.”)
– • – • – • – • –
Not sure if I did it justice, but I really liked this suggestion, @fleetof-fandoms, so thanks!
DC Universe’s Got Talent (America’s Got Talent), as host, contestant, and eventual winner – because judges from the Fifth Dimension could no longer stand watching a human with such inhuman flexibility
Gothamite Ninja Warrior (American Ninja Warrior), where it’s usually just Cass and him battling it out for the top spot and the “obstacle course” includes parkouring to the top of crumbling gargoyles and jumping off twenty-story buildings sans parachute
Jason
Alfred & J’s Potluck Dinner(Martha & Snoop’s Potluck Dinner), where Alfred’s “Martha” and he’s “Snoop” and they host get-togethers for heroes and villains in the Manor kitchen
Hoodvs. Lair (Man vs. Wild), but instead of surviving in the wild, he’s trying to get past security in a new supervillain’s hideout week after week (guest-starring Roy)
Tim
BatFuzz Unsolved (BuzzFeed Unsolved), where he discusses controversial cases, such as the mysterious zombie-turned-vigilante wearing a red helmet, with his best bud and resident skeptic, Conner
Myth Boosters (Myth Busters), where he dispels/proves popular theories using the latest and most expensive Wayne Tech gadgets (and Bruce is a mere centimeter away from buying the TV network just to cancel this show)
Damian
Gotham’s Dumbest Videos(America’s Funniest Videos), which features clips of his siblings’ blunders during patrol (and him cackling in the background after he introduces each one)
Crikey! It’s the Irwins, and he’s actually with the Irwins (until his father reminds him to “Get. Back. To. Your Earth. Now.”)
– • – • – • – • –
Not sure if I did it justice, but I really liked this suggestion, @fleetof-fandoms, so thanks!
DC Universe’s Got Talent (America’s Got Talent), as host, contestant, and eventual winner – because judges from the Fifth Dimension could no longer stand watching a human with such inhuman flexibility
Gothamite Ninja Warrior (American Ninja Warrior), where it’s usually just Cass and him battling it out for the top spot and the “obstacle course” includes parkouring to the top of crumbling gargoyles and jumping off twenty-story buildings sans parachute
Jason
Alfred & J’s Potluck Dinner(Martha & Snoop’s Potluck Dinner), where Alfred’s “Martha” and he’s “Snoop” and they host get-togethers for heroes and villains in the Manor kitchen
Hoodvs. Lair (Man vs. Wild), but instead of surviving in the wild, he’s trying to get past security in a new supervillain’s hideout week after week (guest-starring Roy)
Tim
BatFuzz Unsolved (BuzzFeed Unsolved), where he discusses controversial cases, such as the mysterious zombie-turned-vigilante wearing a red helmet, with his best bud and resident skeptic, Conner
Myth Boosters (Myth Busters), where he dispels/proves popular theories using the latest and most expensive Wayne Tech gadgets (and Bruce is a mere centimeter away from buying the TV network just to cancel this show)
Damian
Gotham’s Dumbest Videos(America’s Funniest Videos), which features clips of his siblings’ blunders during patrol (and him cackling in the background after he introduces each one)
Crikey! It’s the Irwins, and he’s actually with the Irwins (until his father reminds him to “Get. Back. To. Your Earth. Now.”)
– • – • – • – • –
Not sure I did it justice, but I really liked this suggestion, @fleetof-fandoms, so thanks!
Red Robin: *rereading the tags for the nth time*
Red Robin: I don’t think that’s what they meant.
Robin: *rolls his eyes* Yeah, Todd.
Nightwing: *shrugs* Kind of makes sense, though. I mean, I’d totally join in –
Red Hood: *lifting @fleetof-fandoms over his head with one arm* What part of “boost” don’t you two runts get?
Red Robin and Robin: *looking disapprovingly at Dick*
Nightwing: *grinning as he spider-climbs onto Jason’s back to attempt a three-person pyramid* What?
Alfred: *walks into the Batcave with a tray of cookies*
Alfred: *watches as a thick, sticky, white substance drops from the ceiling and onto the tray*
Alfred: *sighs deeply* Is this absolutely necessary, Master Bruce?
Batman: *yelling from the ground floor while making a few adjustments to a vehicle* I thought it would brighten the cave up.
Alfred: *looks up at crevices on the ceiling* And where, may I ask, did you find this many of them?
Batman:
Batman: Uh –
Alfred: *throws the guano-contaminated cookies into a trash bin* MASTER DAMIAN. *speed-walks out of the cave*
Nightwing: *getting off his motorcycle after it screeches to a halt* He is not gonna wanna see that room. *looks up* I like what you’ve done with the place. The yellow against all the black? *kisses his fingertips* Magnificent.
Batman: *grins* @fleetof-fandoms’ idea. You’ll have to send them a package for me.
Nightwing: Yeaaaah… I don’t think a bumblebee-colored Batmobile qualifies as a package-package, but sure, I’ll drive it over.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 