The Robins as…

TUMBLR USERS REACTING TO 10,000 FOLLOWERS

Dick:

*sheepishly rubbing his neck while staring at his phone, a lopsided grin forming on his lips* “You’re kidding…”
Calls Babs and Wally to make sure that it’s not a prank (He’s that genuinely suprised and grateful.)
Cheerfully tells Bruce about it over a rare breakfast together (and knows that “Hn” means Bruce didn’t understand a single word he just said)

Jason:

“Isn’t that like… a container you put your drink in?” (Oh, that’s right. Tim made his account to use as online bait for criminals.)
*sees the mobile app for the first time*
*scrolls through the Batfamily tags*
*grunts in mild amusement over some posts*
*reads “10,000” and raises an eyebrow*
“This kinda stuff’s popular, huh?”
*stares blankly at the phone for a second* “Online bait. Sounds… Useful. *gets on his motorcycle and speeds away*

Tim:

*shakes his head, chuckles at how much Jason still has to learn about the modern world, hopes he doesn’t do anything rash and so turns on his Red Hood tracker, and logs into Tumblr on the Batcomputer*
*clicks "Block” on another porn blog* “Aaaaaand that’s got it. Yup. Still 10,000.” *gets up and heads to his bedroom*
*sits back down, refilled and smoking cup of coffee balancing on his lap (No, Timothy!)* “Or, maybe if I try a different algorithm –”

Damian:

*takes a screenshot and hits “Send” in 30 seconds tops* “We’ll see who’s ‘super’ now, Kent!
Posts pictures of his pets posing majestically with captions of quotes from ancient League manuscripts to (indirectly) express his gratitude
"Command Drake to stop hacking into my account, Father! I command it!” when he notices his follower count dwindling

Wow, um. Thank you. Your support has been inspiring me to make original content, too. Just… Thank you.

Sincerely,

a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes

a-wayne-at-heart:

The Robins as…

BABYSITTERS

(Let’s face it: they all need Alfred. But left to their own devices…)

Dick:

It comes naturally to him, a perk of being a father (even if he isn’t on this Earth yet) and big brother figure to people within and outside of the Batfamily.

Unashamedly reads maternity books out of curiosity.

Cooing, babbling, silly animal sounds and corny jokes. He’ll be utterly annoying to grown-ups, but absolutely delightful to anyone below the age of 8.

Gentle disciplinarian.

Jason:

Protective. Even from himself. None of his weapons within a one mile radius (unless locked up in a Wayne Tech-grade safe).

Doesn’t mind being vulnerable around young’uns and will indulge their playtime fantasies. (*to toddler* “I’m, um… *looks around to make sure that no one else is around* Red Robin Hood.” But Alfred is around. He always is.)

Reluctantly pulls out Shakespeare from a shelf when asked by a toddler, “Will you wead me a bedtime stowy?”

Tim:

Takes baby-proofing to another level. (He prefers that things be on autopilot because he’s a busy, busy vigilante.)

But once in a while he can’t help himself and goes into Kid Mode. (Supervillain who?)

Sneaks kids into the Batcave for a “field trip” when Bruce isn’t around (and Bruce pretends he doesn’t know).

Actually enjoys helping with homework (even if he’s lazy to do his own).

Damian:

Hates it… Then pretends to hate it… Then actually finds that it pleases him.

Because he likes having a protegé (“Master Damian, he is four!” But he doesn’t understand why that matters since he canonically started training around that age.)

Is secretly fascinated by Lego and other “children’s toys” and somewhat surprised that swords and encyclopedias don’t fall into the same category.

a-wayne-at-heart:

The Robins as…

GROCERY SHOPPERS (sent by Alfred)

Dick:

Most likely to get stared at (for obvious reasons)

Keeps calling Alfred to report on available varieties for each item on the list and bargains for his or his siblings’ favorite snacks

Sings along or dances to the jingle while waiting in line at the cashier

Jason:

Most likely to stick to the grocery list

But his plan to “just get this over with” is usually derailed by a senior citizen struggling to put a heavy sack into a cart or a little kid trying to reach a toy on a high shelf

Comes home to the Manor blushing deeply and with lipstick stains from a grateful old lady

Tim:

Most likely to spend the whole day in the grocery

Because (1) he’s still groggy from pulling an all-nighter for a case and can’t mentally process Alfred’s list, or (2) he can’t help but research the toxicity profile of everything on it, which somehow leads him to cross-reference them with recent sightings of… (*looks up from his phone* “Oh, Alfred! Why are you here? Where am I?”)

Damian:

Most likely to sulk the entire time (“You do not send a prince to do a servant’s job, Pennyworth!”)… that is, until he discovers the pet section

Also most likely to be sent back to return everything that he bought and pick up the things that were actually on the list

So…

Once in a while I’ll come across a comment or two on my posts asking where so-and-so is or why so-and-so isn’t included in them. And I’m grateful because none of them have been rude so far; to me, they sound more like outcries from fans who just want their beloved (and perhaps underappreciated) characters to get more recognition.

Though I understand where they’re coming from, here’s the thing: a lot of you are probably more well-versed in comic canon than I am.

One of the reasons I’m partial to certain characters is because they’re the ones I first encountered when I started reading comics and whose core “personalities” really stuck with me. I’ve gotten to know them more intimately than others and tend to read more about them. It’s kind of like discovering a TV show that really resonates with you; it can keep you from checking out other shows because you’re so preoccupied watching it.

(And I’m really not fond of writing about anything that I don’t know much about because it feels like cheating to me, if that makes sense.)

That being said, once in a while, I’ll come across an incorrect quote or think up a scenario that makes me go, “Oh, I think I might know this character that I rarely write about enough to include him or her in this”. And that’s when I really run with it because it brings me joy to make posts with a big-family feel.

So… You’ll have to forgive me if you don’t see a lot of your favorite character on here. (Trust me, it’s probably better that way until I get back to reading comics more consistently again.)

I do appreciate your comments (and will, once in a while, even stalk reblogs just to read the tags on them *snickers unashamedly*).

Sincerely,

a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes

a-wayne-at-heart:

The Robins as…

PET OWNERS

DICK:

Lots of jogging at the beach, cuddles on the bed and feeding from the table

Will leave pet with Damian in spite of… [see: Damian, 2nd item]

JASON:

Lots of “playdates” with Bizarro’s Pup-Pup

Has disinfectants and anti-odor sprays all over his pristine safe house

TIM:

Lots of incidents involving accidentally pouring coffee beans into dishes or aquariums

World’s Grestest Trainer (Them: “Did you just say that it can… solve crimes?” Him: *grins smugly*)

DAMIAN:

Lots. Of. Pets. (We all know this.)

Cannot be trusted to babysit due to risk of not getting one’s pet back

Impeccable grooming and clothes that match his

#the robins as

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

An Incorrect Interview with the Batfamily…

Batman: I have it on good authority that you’ve been posting these, quote-unquote, incorrect quotes about our family on this so-called… *narrows his eyes* Tumblr.

Me: *blinks*

Me: *shuddering slightly* Well, see, Mr. Batman, um,Sir Wayne, uh, Batwayne –

Nightwing: *gets up from his chair and hugs me tightly*

Me: Oh! Oh, okay. Wow. Thanks? So, um, do you have a question or… ?

Nightwing: *shakes his head and grins at me* I just wanted to lighten the mood. You know how our father tends to blur the line between an interview and an interrog–

Red Hood: *clears his throat loudly*

Red Hood: Why, um… Why the heck do you call me *reading something scribbled on his palm* “Big Brother of the Year”?

Me: Well, see, Jay, even though you see yourself as the “black sheep” of the family, I do believe that there’s some goodness in your heart and that you do care very much about them. I think Croc said it best: you’re a good kid trying to be bad, and – Are you okay?

Red Hood’s Helmet: – bZzt bzZt –

Me: Your helmet’s… There’s smoke coming out of your –

Red Hood: *gets up from his seat and speed-walks out of the room*

Me: Did I say something wrong?

Red Robin: No. His tears must’ve fried the circuits in his helmet. Anyway, is this where you live? *shows me a map on his tablet with coordinates to my residence*

Me: *wide-eyed* How’d you – ?

Red Robin: Don’t worry about it. Now, my real question is, is there a lot of coffee where you’re from?

Me: Well –

Red Robin: Like really strong cofee? *zooming in and out of the map* For some reason, I can’t get intel –

Robin: *shoves Tim out of the way*

Robin: Pretender! Where do you get the nerve –

Me: – to make you look adorable? Look, Dami, I can’t help it –

Black Bat: *grapple-hooks into the room and grabs me*

Spoiler: Alright, creeps, that’s enough blogger harrassment for today!

Batgirl: *whispering into my ear* I’m so sorry you had to go through this.

Alfred: *walks into the room*

Room: *falls silent*

Alfred: No dessert for all of you.

Everyone (including Bruce): *whines*

Alfred: As for you *looks at me*…

Me: *blinks*

Alfred: … we would appreciate it if you joined us for dinner. *walks out of the room with Batcow and Titus in tow*

The Signal: *turns off the camera and runs after Alfred* But I was just filming everything, I swear!

Catwoman: *comes in through the kitchen window* Meow. Did I miss the interview?

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

I guess this is just my way of saying THANK YOU for your continued patronage.

Sincerely *with lots of cute, little hearts*,

a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

An Incorrect Interview with the Batfamily…

Batman: I have it on good authority that you’ve been posting these, quote-unquote, incorrect quotes about our family on this so-called… *narrows his eyes* Tumblr.

Me: *blinks*

Me: *shuddering slightly* Well, see, Mr. Batman, um,Sir Wayne, uh, Batwayne –

Nightwing: *gets up from his chair and hugs me tightly*

Me: Oh! Oh, okay. Wow. Thanks? So, um, do you have a question or… ?

Nightwing: *shakes his head and grins at me* I just wanted to lighten the mood. You know how our father tends to blur the line between an interview and an interrog–

Red Hood: *clears his throat loudly*

Red Hood: Why, um… Why the heck do you call me *reading something scribbled on his palm* “Big Brother of the Year”?

Me: Well, see, Jay, even though you see yourself as the “black sheep” of the family, I do believe that there’s some goodness in your heart and that you do care very much about them. I think Croc said it best: you’re a good kid trying to be bad, and – Are you okay?

Red Hood’s Helmet: – bZzt bzZt –

Me: Your helmet’s… There’s smoke coming out of your –

Red Hood: *gets up from his seat and speed-walks out of the room*

Me: Did I say something wrong?

Red Robin: No. His tears must’ve fried the circuits in his helmet. Anyway, is this where you live? *shows me a map on his tablet with coordinates to my residence*

Me: *wide-eyed* How’d you – ?

Red Robin: Don’t worry about it. Now, my real question is, is there a lot of coffee where you’re from?

Me: Well –

Red Robin: Like really strong cofee? *zooming in and out of the map* For some reason, I can’t get intel –

Robin: *shoves Tim out of the way*

Robin: Pretender! Where do you get the nerve –

Me: – to make you look adorable? Look, Dami, I can’t help it –

Black Bat: *grapple-hooks into the room and grabs me*

Spoiler: Alright, creeps, that’s enough blogger harrassment for today!

Batgirl: *whispering into my ear* I’m so sorry you had to go through this.

Alfred: *walks into the room*

Room: *falls silent*

Alfred: No dessert for all of you.

Everyone (including Bruce): *whines*

Alfred: As for you *looks at me*…

Me: *blinks*

Alfred: … we would appreciate it if you joined us for dinner. *walks out of the room with Batcow and Titus in tow*

The Signal: *turns off the camera and runs after Alfred* But I was just filming everything, I swear!

Catwoman: *comes in through the kitchen window* Meow. Did I miss the interview?

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

I guess this is just my way of saying THANK YOU for your continued patronage.

Sincerely *with lots of cute, little hearts*,

a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes

Wow, so…

I’m astounded at how many of you support this blog. Thank you. Just… Thank you.

And when you tell me or your followers how much something in here made you smile or laugh or whatever, it makes me smile and laugh and whatever, too. (I’ll be honest, I really like checking out your tags and reblogs for your insight.) It’s the sweetest cherry on top.

And I can’t thank the brilliant TV/film/music writers who I take these quotes from (and hope that they can forgive me for totally changing the context in which their work is used!) or the writers/artists over at DC Comics who continue to give me so much inspiration (I love how “human” they make my favorite superheroes) enough.

I hope you continue to enjoy reading these incorrect quotes as much as I enjoy writing them.

Sincerely,

A Wayne at Heart (a-wayne-at-heart)/Bats Say the Darndest Things (incorrect-batfamily-quotes)

P.S. A great big shout out to those who support my original blog, my first baby, too!

The Robins as…

a-wayne-at-heart:

HOSPITAL PATIENTS:

Dick:

“Oh, those glass shards on my back? I get them all the time. No biggie. Hey, do you guys serve cereal?”

The staff love checking him ou – er, checking up on him.

Regales them with stories of past injuries, which none of them can believe are even possible (”Then how are you still alive?”)

Jason

Fake ID (since, you know, legally dead and all)

Wheeled into the hospital room by 5 AM, out through the window in a hospital gown and onto a waiting motorcycle by 5:15 AM

Tim:

Double-checks every diagnosis and every medication and cross-references them with similar cases in the city (and occasionally schools whoever is unfortunate enough to check up on him)

Who knows how pure liquid caffeine got injected into his IV bottle?

Damian:

“You call this food? My father will buy this place!”

Physical examination? You might as well put your hand inside a Tasmanian devil’s tunnel.

Just promoting original content from my other blog. 🙂

Oh, sorry. Timmy “schools whomever is unfortunate to check up on him”.