Dick and Jason: *watching as Tim downs his fourth cup of coffee, spilling some on his ketchup and mustard-stained shirt, burps loudly, and wipes dried slobber off his face*
Dick: *sighs*
Jason: I love him, but if he’s broken, let’s ask Bruce not to get a new one.
Tag: tim drake
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *munching on strawberry-flavored Poptarts*
Tim: *staring blankly ahead*
Jason: *waves a hand in front of his brother’s face*
Tim:
Jason: *snaps his fingers*
Tim:
Jason: *tips the big mug of coffee over, spilling its contents*
Tim: *slowly turns his head to face Jason*
Jason: You’re being so quiet. Are you upset or are you just rebooting?
Red Hood: If you bring sarcasm my way, baby, prepare to be stung.
Nightwing: Jay…
Red Hood: So’s your face!
Red Robin: That doesn’t even make any sense.
Red Hood: “So’s your face” always makes sense.
Robin: -Tt- Todd, that’s stupid.
Red Hood: So’s your face! Man, I am on fire!
When your youngest brother’s mother drops by for a visit…
Talia: *grinning while running her fingers along her sword’s blade*
Red Robin: *whispering* Okay, this woman is horrifying, so don’t panic.
Red Hood: *scoffs* I’ll be fine.
Red Robin: I was talking to myself.
Tim: Do we have any coffee left, Alfred?
Alfred: I’m afraid not, Master Timothy.
Tim: Oh. Isn’t that just the pickle on the giant crap sandwich that is my day?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
It’s, like, 7:45 AM, Tim.
Tim: Hey, Tam, there you are!
Tam: Hey, Tim!
Tim’s Brain: This is your moment! Grab it! Listen, Tam… Out loud, you idiot! Out loud!
Jason: *walks into Tim’s bedroom*
Jason: So this is where germs are born…
Dick: Uh-oh. Damian’s gonna be mad.
Tim: Yeah, well, he’s twelve and tiny. What’s he going to do? Kick my ass?
Tim’s Brain: Again?
Mornings at the Batcave…
Tim: *downing a cup of espresso* Okay, we all know why we’re here, right?
Dick: *still in just boxer shorts, yawning and shaking his head*
Jason: *groans* No. Why?
Tim: To fight Damian, the bully. That tiny tween has been tormenting all of us for years, and I for one am sick of it! I can’t promise you victory. I can’t promise you good times. But the one thing I do know –
Dick and Jason: *head back to the Manor*
Tim: Whoa! Whoa! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!
Dick: …
Tim: *two black eyes and a broken arm*
Damian: *three missing teeth*
Dick: *sighs and gestures to two chairs in front of him*
Dick: Why don’t you tell me what happened, and in a gentle and loving way, I’ll explain to you why you’re both wrong.
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