Family Patrol Night…
Red Hood: Why didn’t you stop me?
Red Robin: What?
Red Hood: Why did you let me harass that guy? *gestures to a bound and gagged criminal out of earshot*
Red Robin: So, you think the fact that you got annoyed and became incredibly insensitive with another human being is my fault?
Red Hood: Yeah! Lookit, whenever I’m about to do some stupid-ass stuff, you’re the one who calls me on it, and you’re then damn-sure the one who makes me stop.
Jason [to Roy]: Do you really think I care about what my brothers think? Tim camped out in a wizard outfit to see the latest “Harry Potter” movie.
Tim: You swore you wouldn’t tell! We even high-fived on it, Jay!
Jason: Timbo, we high-five on everything.
Tim: That’s such a lame excuse. I’m totally pissed at you. High-five!
Tim: Stress is all a part of being a superhero. If you’re not throwing up in your mouth, you’re not doing it right.
As Bruce and Selina prepare to recite their vows to each other…
Dick: *whispering* A little heads up: There’s no way I’m not crying at this wedding.
Tim: Dick, you cried on the way here.
At the Watchtower…
Justice League: *watching surveillance, Youtube, and news footage on the mainframe computer*
Batman: *walks into the room and sees Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin, and Lark (and a bunch of burning buildings and screaming citizens) on the screen*
Superman: *arms crossed*
Wonder Woman: *hands on hips, shaking her head*
Aquaman: *raises an eyebrow*
The Flash: *wide-eyed*
Green Lantern: *biting his lip to suppress a smirk*
Cyborg: Wo-ho-hoooooo.
Batman: Hn.
Batman: Whatever they did, add it to my tab.
Batman: *walks out*
Steph: Last night I told you that I was falling in love with you. And you know what you said?
Tim: “Thank you”?
Steph: You asked me if I wanted to go get pizza.
Tim: No… “Pineapple pizza”.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Or the story of how Red Robin got a black eye.
Jason: You’re dumb.
Tim: See, now you’re just embarrassing yourself. Pick someone else to annoy.
Jason: I don’t pick ‘em. They pick me.
At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Tim: So how come you don’t have to get all dressed up?
Jason: I am dressed up. You see any holes in these pants?
Dick: Listen to me, Damian. Your whole life has led to this moment.
Dick: All the training, the hours of dedication…
Dick: There’s not a soul alive that can touch you…
Dick: … when it comes to Laser Tag. And, Li’l Bro, you know it. *pats Damian’s armor* Look at me. Be you!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
And that is how Dick and Damian impossibly beat the crap out of Jason and Tim.
Sometimes all it takes is a little pep talk from your favorite brother.
Barry: So, what’s Batman’s son like?
Hal: If Hannibal Lecter and Freddy Krueger had a lovechild, that kid would be afraid of Robin.
Hal: And that’s just Tim, you don’t want to know about Damian…
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