Crashing at Red Robin’s Nest be like…

Red Hood: *wakes up with a start on the couch* Timbo? Timbo! Did I dream that you were crying throughout the night?

Tim: *with bags under his eyes and drinking coffee at 2 AM* No, that was real.

Damian: Who here has been the butt of a joke that has gone too far?

Tim: Brat, you make fun of us everyday.

Jason: Yeah. Every. Single. Day.

Damian: You never said anything.

Steph: Uh, we have. Countless times.

Damian: Well, it’s hard to tell the difference between you inferior people saying, “Stop! Because I want you to stop!” and “Stop!”, as in “Stop! You’re making making me laugh so hard! What you’re doing is so funny! You’re on a roll, I’m a busting a gut! Stoppp!”.

Jason, Tim, Steph: That’s never been the case.

Post-traning session at the Manor…

Nightwing: *trying to catch his breath and wiping sweat off his face*

Red Hood: *examining his broken helmet while holding an ice pack against his temple*

Red Robin: *throwing his halved bo staff into the fireplace*

Nightwing [to Robin]: In everyone’s defense, I think the most worthy opponent of yours is… you.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

Well, since your sisters were out shopping during this whole ordeal, one cannot say that with absolute certainty.

Family Patrol Night…

Nightwing and Red Robin: *watching Red Hood “interrogate” a criminal*

Nightwing: Uhhh… I think Jason may have snapped.

Red Robin: Or maybe he’s just stuck in character.

Nightwing: Which is worse? Snapped or stuck?

Red Robin: Both. They’re both worse.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

Someone rescue that thug.

Discussing ways to win your father’s sympathy be like…

Red Hood: How about this: I throw a corpse dressed like me off the roof –

Red Robin: *looks into the camera like he’s on “The Office”*

When Alfred leaves for a vacation…

Dick: *scouring the kitchen cabinets for cereal*

Jason: He left some snacks in the freezer for us.

Damian: You mean the frozen mice for the piranha?

Jason: No, the blueberry slurpy pouch.

Tim [to Dick]: *rolls his eyes* He means the ice pack.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

They must’ve missed the note Alfie stuck on the freezer door: “Young masters, for when you are incapable of behaving yourselves and are in need something to put over your or your brother’s black eye.”

Family Patrol Night…

Nightwing: *stares questioningly at his brothers after hearing about a mission gone awry*

Red Robin: *wiping soot off his face and picking shrapnel from his uniform* Chalk that one up to Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum over there.

Red Hood: *scraping dried mud off his combat boots*

Robin: *throwing the shards that used to be his sword into a garbage can* -Tt-

Nightwing: Uh… Who are they?

Red Robin and Robin: THEY’RE BOTH JASON!

Family Patrol Night…

Nightwing: *stares questioningly at his brothers after hearing about a mission gone awry*

Red Robin: *wiping soot off his face and picking shrapnel from his uniform* Chalk that one up to Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum over there.

Red Hood: *scraping dried mud off his combat boots*

Robin: *throwing the shards that used to be his sword into a garbage can* -Tt-

Nightwing: Uh… Who are they?

Red Robin and Robin: THEY’RE BOTH JASON!