Jason: *trying to reach the remote control on the coffee table with his toes, then sighing in exhaustion*
Tim: You’ve got to be the laziest person in the world.
Jason: If you weren’t all the way on the other side of the couch, I’d slap your face.
Tag: tim drake
At a Batfamily meeting…
Red Robin: *nudging and whispering* How’d you do that?
Red Hood: *whispering back* Do what?
Red Robin: *sounding impressed* You were, like, ten feet away from the brat.
Red Hood: *sounding innocent* What are you talking about?
Red Robin: *smirking* I know what I saw.
Red Hood: *grinning* What did you see?
Red Robin: *shrugging* I don’t know. Nothing.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
A little while later…
Damian: ….
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: TOOOOODDDDDDDD!
Batman: *enters the Batcave, half-naked in a singed and tattered Batsuit*
Batman: *heads directly to the Batcomputer, limping, dripping blood on the ground*
Nightwing:
Red Robin:
Robin:
Alfred:
Red Hood: Did you get in a tickle fight with Edward Scissorhands?
Mornings at the Manor…
Dick: *sulking*
Bruce: *reading the business section of the Gotham Gazette*
Alfred: *taking Tim’s groggy face out of a cup of coffee he was trying to drink*
Jason: *cooking waffles while whistling an 80’s tune*
Damian: *doing one-finger push-ups with Alfred the Cat on his back*
Dick: I know I’m the only one in this house who actually drinks milk, but would it kill any of you to make sure it’s actually on the grocery list?
How to “borrow” your brother’s stuff…
Tim: Jason, where’s my radiation suit?
Jason: *placing duct tape over the Red Robin logo of the suit he’s wearing* How the heck should I know?
During Tim’s first days as Robin…
Tim: You can’t be fired from your own family. Can you?
Dick:
Bruce:
Dick: *sarcastically clears throat*
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim and Damian: *bickering at the breakfast table*
Bruce: Quiet, you two! If I hear one more word, Tim doesn’t get to drink coffee and Damian doesn’t get to go on patrol.
Tim: Bruce!
Damian: Father!
Bruce: Not. One. Word.
Tim and Damian: *start insulting each other by lightly tapping spoons and banging salt and pepper shakers*
Bruce: I thought I told you two to knock it off.
Tim: We didn’t say anything!
Damian: Not one word!
Bruce: Well, no Morse code either.
Tim: *whispering* What’s your hurry?
Jason: *grabbing his leather jacket and kicking three-day-old garbage underneath the sofa* This place is depressing.
Dick: *yelling from the kitchen* Hey! I live here!
Jason: *yelling back* And I’m sure it’s a blast once you get used to it!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Maybe if you cleaned up once in a while before these family visits, Nightwing…
Mornings at the Batcave…
Tim: *downing a cup of espresso* Okay, we all know why we’re here, right?
Dick: *still in just boxer shorts, yawning and shaking his head*
Jason: *groans* No. Why?
Tim: To fight Damian, the bully. That tiny tween has been tormenting all of us for years, and I for one am sick of it! I can’t promise you victory. I can’t promise you good times. But the one thing I do know –
Dick and Jason: *head back to the Manor*
Tim: Whoa! Whoa! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!
When Tim met Damian (an alternative version)…
Damian: *spots Tim sleeping by the Batcomputer* -Tt-
Damian: *nudges him* Wake up.
Tim: *wide-eyed and looking around the Batcave in a panic*
Tim: *wiping slobber off his face* Who in the world are you?
Damian: I’m your new brother.
Tim: Are you from the orphanage or do I really not undersand how babies are born?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
But you do understand how Robins work, right?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 